As I look again at all those weird photos we had together, those we took of each other, I let myself drown into the beautiful memories again. I never knew if I'm really letting it go already. I've let go of him, but I haven't let go of what was once beautiful in the past. I look back at those photos again and went back into those flashbacks. The times that we spent together. The photos, was what we took and said that it'll be really nice to look back at when we gets old. Now, I totally have no clue why will I want these photos to exist. Do I really want to bring those memories with this guy into my future? If I've aged and look back at these photos, what will I be thinking next time?
My heart starts to feel this ache again. It's true what Elina says, that we'll always remember this hurt no matter how long it had past. And I most probably should remember this advice that 'Hurting shows that your still alive and haven't gotten use to that feeling'.
Sometimes, this feeling of hurt is just bad. When I allow myself to feel this hurt, I sometimes wish that I wouldn't be alive to remember how this hurt felt. I know everyone gets hurt and they still survive till today.
I know that my heart is afraid. It feels so weak, I'm weak. I just wanna crumble up in my blanket and let everyday pass. People says time heals. Just how long have I allowed myself to waste my time already?
Love,
Zihui
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