hellO

hihi again.

idk, i really should be doing my assignment like now. but then my head is filled with something that i wish will not be in my head. cos its really not going to be good for me. i wish i could forget. but i totally got so kindd of used to it already n now that its not there, it kinda feels empty. how i wish i could just let it go. but its not something u can just simply let go.. i guess time will heal them all(: but its not gonna be eassy. hahahhahaas. wish n wish. can i not wish??

haix. how i wish i can see my lovely friends. hahahhaas. n i'll forget bout all these stuff, n be happy.

its kinda affecting me

i wonder, life is just so cruel. everything happens for a reason. have u wonder why u'll meet certain pple? anw, this is really affecting me. this something. idk how to say. but i need to blog. i need to blog it out. though i cant blog whhat i actually wanna blog, but i needa blog. i wish n wish, tat i would not let it exist in my head, but things are really playing on me. like how it'lll just suddenly appears. its scary. to think. ok chiong assignment now! jiayou!! haix

I AM ALIVE N HAPPILY HOPPING EVERYWHERE

okay, hihi to all my lovely friends(:
seriously, when u all dont update by blogging, i kinda like lost info bout ur life's now and then^^ hahahas! but i do realise that no matter what, u all will be my loveliest friend ever^^ hehe! sry if i didnt update as frequently as u would likeme to(:

recently, been busy trying to get back my energy, and trying to catch up with my projects, and is in the progress of being that positive self again(: as in really feeling happy that kind(:

okay, idk why, but on saturday, i felt really really really (many 'really') HAPPY. i know, my usage of vocabs are so limited. i promise i'll get back on my feet and really improve myself. i realise that after o levels, i lost loads of things. first i know i really lost myself somewhere. cos going to work made me change to adapt to the environment and the pple, it also made me realise many many things, and i lost the positive self much. the self whereby i think so positive, and the self which think of all positive things to stay happy. somehow, idk how did i lost myself, but i just lose that without realising. it took me quite some time to actually realise i've became that other part of myself. and its not easy to get back the person i really really wanna be back into.

i really really lost the me i am before o's. now, i guess i'm back on my feet again! heheheeee! so happy kind of me that i feel like jumping and opping everywhere! woooohooooo! idk what and how makes me feel that certain way today! but i am certainly having a self-revolution.(if there's even such a word). OKAY I THINK I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I MYSELF IS SAYING!:P

anw, i was very happy since saturday. let me just update^^

friday24june..
went to school for tunglok interview! hahahahs! its a kinda lame interview anw, then after that slack n study at library and at tampines with suyi, noah , justin, jiamin^^

at night, i was chionging the terroir research! goodness! i hate research man! but since now i'm so positive, i gotta love it^^ chiong till 3, then slp!

sat25june!
went for swimming picnic! first i met hexun(hersheyyyyy) first at amk before heading to marina! then at marina, met alden, weijia, and i forgot what is tat guys name. then we waited for the rest! suppose to reach at 10:30, but guess what, the latest, they reach after 12:30 man!!! goodness! but anw, its alrights^^ and at that time, it was raining so freaking heavily ! so we sat at the mrt stairs, and lepak. and played some card games^^ oh well, i think i dont need to describe the whole picnic, but i can conclude that i relaxed and had some fun^^ when i go work, i was in a happy mood. but ten i realise faezah last day! so sad! but i chatted alot with her! it feels so good to be able to talk to someone bout the sch projects and stuff. hahhahs! n faezah is such a cool person. i realised that its her last day, and she's happy. so oh well, i somehow felt very happy too. its like how when the pple ard me is happy, i'm happy too. was so happy to see her when she's bout to go off! so lucky! so i'm very happy i get to see her! very very happy^^ and i got so happy throughout working6-11:30/ couldn't stop smiling happily! and otw home, i felt like hopping everywhere i go!!! hahahahahas!!!

was talking to suyi when i got home, and i told her how happy i was, and i told her something ahem ahem.........
anw, was telling her hopw i dun wanna go slp cos i dun wanna lose that happy feel!then she said
'you go get a container with a lid now. preferably a pretty and colorful one, and you smile and laugh and laugh and laugh into it! then faster cap! then tmr you open and let the happiness and smiles and laughter flow out and light up your face and mood!'

so funny!

sunday26june
work 8-3! oh god! so sian!then rush home for terrir! terroir! terroir! stress like shit! chiong n chiong till ard 11:30! hahahahhahas! then at night, just when i already let go off something , the text came. oh god. whyyyy must it always be like this! just when i'm ready not to think of something, it always will come back to me. but same, i'm happy to receive it.

monday27june
okay, so today, i woke up very ready to accept this beautiful dayyyy! woooohoooo1 the start of sch!!!!!!! but then, i had a freaking horrible nightmare! i dreamt of something that's very sad! like someone died! and idk, it just seem so damn freaking sad!like i'm crying and feeling so freaking sad in that freakish dream!! oh goodness. wonder if i really feels tat...... its freakish. like if it really happens, i'll be so heartbroken kind of scene. idk why, but i have a vague memory of having that dream once...... so is this the dream i had??? its like a repetition. but now, in that dream, i know that person... goodness...!

anw, today is a very nice day!!! i' very very happy n ready for the term!!!!! went swimming after i woke up!!!!! saw the sun! but left the house, i see freaking dark clouds!!!!!!! but then, i met justin at the swim complex n waited for rain to stop to swim! hahahhahhaa! nice! after that there's sun! anw, i think i'm so gonna die at the nxt training! hahahaas! okay, i shal think positively, i'm so gonna enjoy that swim training and smile so damn freaking happily at the training!!!! woooohooooo! btw, at the pool, saw this guy! woah! he swim like a woah! my kind of version of woah! hahaahs! nice fast! funny thing. idk why, suddenly saw him frm the far lane, then nxt thing, he is att the lane beside mine. lol. then i can see him keep looking at me. paiseh or what sia. whats there to look-.-

anw, at sch, was very happy! happy happy happy! ok! i think cos i've got enough of slp!!!! hahahahas! n i wore all black today!!!!!

at guitar was very fun!!! yayyy! tired already !!!! post soon!!!!
TAKECARES <3

hihi!

okay, i'll be looking forward to ur italy post n tcc changi post man!!!

hahahs! okay! am here!

am so stress!!!

am feeling this freaky feeling which idk what but hate it!

anw, hope i can get it over!

hahahs!
okay, yesterday, went for swim training camp! though i can say its like theres nothing, its just bonding session^^ early in the morning, woke up, gave the egghead a call! and lol! so pig! knew he'll go back to slp after saying hello n all to me! lol! was wondering what'll happen at camp! but its actually slack bonding session uh! when i reach the sch, i looked down at the swimming complex, n saw no one! was wondering where is the swim team! then just nice, i saw egghead going to walk to the pool oso! so we went there together! hahas! i think eggheadd doesnt likes this kind of camp much! plus he lack of slp! so he like nvr talk to anyone much u kno?? like when the camp grp is moving to another lt and stuff, he walk so damn slow, like distant away from the swim team like that. i wonder what is he thinking.. how i wish i could sit by his side and accompany him talk n make him awake n lively! but too bad! diff grp.(: but if i was to company him, ltr pple thought scandal sia! hahahhahas! i wonder why he dont talk much to those pple at swimming?? why he so quiet? like kind of scary in a sense that he really really dont wanna be there.

during camp, we watch funny video, moments at swimming... and then during lunch, we were made to feed pple at our right. i feed dawn, and kat feed me! hahas! then they were playing games!!! im so damn embarassed at the 'honey will u smile for me' game! how i wish i have a hole on the ground to hide in man! im like tried on katherine, jinson & gerome, no one smile for me))))))))))))): so sad! but hhas! its just a game! they soooo fierce man! how i wish i can have that kind of face at the right time! hahahs! the no i wont laugh face! hahahas! but ahem! i laugh at stupid things! nvm^^ so awkward luh! when suppose to tell the other person 'honey will u smile for me pls??' walao! nvm, then watched funny videos back at lt over and over again!! and its like funny shit! but when they start water activity, i went and do freaking project!!)): i missed out the fun))):

ok, so projects are kind of freaking me out! i just realised i have totally no time for anything! i guess, i'm like not coping with my things so well, i must not think of stopping, but i know i am very exhausted. exhausted with life now. like so many things all coming up at one go! u know, on wed, when i go work, im feeling like so freaking giddy while i replenish! i feel like i can faint! but okay, i try to save my energy during my break, and i kinda just work n work till i can go home. i mean seriously, i am freaking tired. and yesterday, after i come home, for the first time in so long, i slept at 9 plus n i woke at 9 plus today! its been so long since i can slp properly, and i decide i shall not wake to research when i dun have the energy. that i slp first and shall chiong tonight! hahahs!

anw, that time when i was talking to ginseng on the phone, i was wondering if we will be able to talk like how we talk on the phone in real life. to be truthful, i didnt talk to him much in real life before. most of the time i dun see him in sch. and when i see him, its cos we r studying at library n he come say hi. hahahhahhas! then i asked him what i was wondering, and he say that he is wondering bout the same thing a few days back too. ahahhahahhahs. funny huh? nvm...

anw, say lucks to me for my interview ltr! hahahhas! ok fine i dun even feel any nervousness! hahahs! i'll just be myself.

anw, tat stupid thing is still there):
shall put it aside(:

u know, sometimes, when u have certain feelings, the right song just comes to u at the right time. how i wish i could isolate from pple for awhile. i need some individual space, of not communicating with pple. cos im exhausted..

WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO^^

okay, firstly, i can talk bout sooo sooo many things as usual. now let see what my brain and heart will allow me to jote down firstly n lastly... lol, i know my english is bad, please pardon me^^

okay, first of all, this is to this special someone!
hi, i know u know who u are, cause i know i'm not suppose to mention u like this openly, i mean ur name or what(: but yea i kno u will know who am i talking about^^ so much to hear from u n vice versa! hahahahhas!!!! anw, just to tell u , <3 ya!!!!! hahahas! and, i actually thinks that tongue piercing is wayyyyyy very cool! just i'm not that kind of person into piercing, or else i'll have it too!!! so nice~! hope i can get to see that very very sooon! to me that is realy realy very very cool!
n of cause i'm gonna support u for having it! u know how to think well, well, piercing nothing bad at all(: hehe!!!! just rmb do not make urself sick like last time k(:
<3

me now and then again.....
okay, to allllll my beloved friends! holidays is so gonna be over! and oh well, its really true that after secondary school, our life is so damn freaking busy thta we dont even know if we'll ever have any time for each other! promise u all that once i really really settles down in school and stuff?? i'll dig out time and ask u all when free to meet even if its just for a meal can???

currently, i can see my whole load of things that i must be committed to! like right now of cause there's studies! then i have swimming, job, and adding on now is guitar!!!!

guitar~his life~
anw, today i went for my first ever guitar lesson! seriously i knows nothing bout guitar at all, but i'm going to enjoy it! tell u that derek is so freaking cool! can just imagine if this kind of guy is ur boyfriend, u'll be so mesmerized by him cause his voice is so damn beautiful, and when he plays the gitar and sing, woah!!!!!! u know, when i look at his face, he just really doesnt show much bout his talent! but once he starts playing the guitar and sings, woahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
its really really very WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay, when i really really learns how to play guitar well, i'm so gonna learn piano, my dream^^.
hopefully i'll really do that one day yea?? hahahhhas! okay! hmmmmmmmm...

anw, derek says that we should name our guitar. i'm wondering what should i name it. i know i have an answer liao, but i just havent confirm it! hahahahhs!!!

okok, guess i shall stop here...
anw, i'm really really gonna learn to just go with the flow with everything.
why is it so difficult to become the old me?? the happy go lucky me???
whats happening huh??
hahahhahahs!!

okay.. whats wrong with me man! hahahhas!

ok, so recently, theres just so many things to do though im on my two wks holiday! time really fly pass me very fast, and sometimes slow! we're back to saying, when there's fun, time fly pass very fast! when there's nothing fun at all, time fly pass damn freaking slowly! hahahs

anw, today, i woke up late n i slp in e afternoon after eating the lovely spaghetti that small aunt cooked(: i actually wanna do some research on my projects, but i just didnt! guess tmr i must realy chiong like a crazy girl! hahahahahahs!!!! so anw, after i woke up, i went swimming! okay, how i wish im that excited to go swimming! but, im like dreading luh! cos im afraid i cant take that crazyness! anw, at swimming, there's only ard 6/7 freshie swimmer! oh god n i'm the only girl! wth! anw, i know, that i normally dont do hating of people! but, this guy @ swimming is just such a great idiot! he's kinda boastful, thinks fully of himself! but in our eyes, he's such an idiotic fool! hahahs! he really is wth luh!!!!! dun like him! i hate this kind of person!!! lol! but itslife luh huh?? will meet shitty pple!!!!! he thinks so fully of himself luh! hi five his face uh! lol

anw, so well, i survived today's training! today's senior is actually friendly cos they are teaching us how to swim with that heavy thingy! hahahas! and this graudated lady named meiyan is very friendly, and she kinda is a very gd person! like her! so nice! hahahhahahas! she make my swim training a nice one! hahahahhas! so sad she actually graduated already yea? hahhahaa.

anw, i actually forgot bout missing this someone that's been in my head! but whenever i dont go bout thinking bout pple, they'll just text me! what kind of shit is tat! but nice^^ hahahhahhahas! okay! im such a bad person! due to not finishing my assignments and projects, i cant meet up with my friends during this two wks)))))): hope i'll chiong during the weekends!!! hahahhaas!!!!

takecare peeps!!! <3

if only....

if only i would be brave enough, i would dare to do anything^^ i would just decide all for myself

looks like i dunno what im talking about... hmmm, im just gonna rubbish here???

ohhhh... anw, i have so many things to do!!!!!!! i cant believe i havent got that scared feeling and start doing them!!!! D;

vampires diaries, i finished watching! when will the season 3 come out???!!! its suppose to be my distractions frm somethings.... hahas!

everyday, i realise i could just day dream my day away! i hope i will not daydream so much anymore! freak that!!!

haix... i think im like crapping here! where are u?! my hardworking engine?!

i miss everyone, but then, im so lazy to get myself out when i think bout the stuff i have to do!!!!

many things are awaiting for me to do!! maybe i should just start now!!!!

D: why am i always procrastinating?! its so not me right?!?!?!?!?!?!

shit luh!!!!!!! ok i should stop here! todays post is nonsense!!! im just so!!! anyhow joting down my thoughts!

today!

okay yay im blogging! hahahhas! lols-.-

anw, let me just blog about today beffore i go slp k(:

today went to sch for project uh. then after project was actually suppose to meet jinson. ok, why does my cuz and suyi likes to tease me bout me and him? i mean we're just friends. whats so complicated? they say im blind. hahahahahah!! why???????? i mean, i really dunno, and i dun wanna read too much into things. and i dun wanna go feel for it. i guess im just not brave enough to face my feelings ba.

hahaas. does it actually mean something when a guy calls u at night and talk to u?? i wonder.

anw, woah, this is the most incoming call i've ever had so far. its only 23 days and i've got 20 hours of incoming calls. actually not everyday also talk on the phone

hahhas. but oh man! what will my papa say when he see the amt of incoming calls i have?

ok anw, i was at im sppose to meet him today, but we dunno where to go. hahahash! and he is such a blur king! he have med checkup today! hope his heart is fine! so i ended up nvr go out, came home i slept, then i went swimming! omg today's training is like a '!!!' since i didnt go swim training for so long!

swam ard 40 laps luh

lol

8 freestyle for warm up, then kick and pull for 20 laps, then use flippers to swim for 16 laps, in between have some warm downs, then after everything, have that freaking sprint! that can die! i've nvr push so hard! omg but 1/4 laps after i'll decrease speed cos i reallly really no strength!!! hahahahas!!

ok i shall persevere and keep going to swim swim swim swim swim! hahas! and stay strong!

im gonna cope with sch, my job, my cca, and everything!! i can do it!!! i must start to self motivate! i miss those times when there were pple ard me motivating me, and me motivating them oso, it just feels nice, and its like something that actually keeps each other strong. hi lovely friends, i thk u all so much for whenever u all say i can sure do it. thks for having confidence in me and giving me confidence.

<3 u all.

though i kno, we might not have much chance to meet each other n talk bout anything and everything, i'll always miss u all, love u all, and always have u all in my heart.

stay strong and jiayou for the nxt 2/3 yrs! time flies! and lets just chiong and everything will be over!!!!! yay!!!!! jiayou<3 <3

hmmm.

oh well...hahhahahs.. hmmmm. idk what to say. what does this feels like??? hmmmm. its fate

oh well...

sickening shit. i actually uploaded many photos, and was trying to post. but oh well, keep having prob with posting. how idiotic! i think i'll try it when im less agitated by the stupid blog. okok.

let me just update. exams are over, and its doesnt feels like a freaking holiday...

okay, so well, my holiday will be filled with projects and assignments! freak that! this wkend, i must research for my project that we're doing on monday and tuesday!oh well, shit that.

and every mon wed fri, 6-9 at night, swim training..! first wk of holiday, tue i work from 3-7?! thur 9-3, sat 8-2, sun 6-11;30! so now u know when im free???? okay i;ll just type out... so that if whenlovely friends have free time too, we can meet^^

monday i'll be free in the evening if anyone wanna meet^^ but must say earlier!

tue, i wont be free.

wed i'll be free except for night time 6-9 cos got swim!

thurs, i'll be free from 3 o clock onwards!

fri free except swim 6-9.!

sat i'll be free after work! sun free before work!

ok, pls contact me if u wanna meet me n u r free during my free time slot^^

hahas!

holidays, i have a few individual project^^

-field trip to kranji war memorial

-might needa go bungee jump with eugene as promised. anw, this eugene is my classmate, not the eugene u guys kno

-macro econ article search

the rest, idk still have what cos im not doing consistent work..... hehe!

so during my free time slots, i have to do those things too^^ i guess this holidays, everyone is just so not free right?! but yea, must at least have a meal together or what k^^

ok so these are the pple i must try to go out with during holidays,

-mh pj jy kim?

-laylin simin

-407 class outing?

-pri sch gathering?

-suyi yanting cuz minmin

-jinson for bufffet

-and siwei jimin wenjing!!!

-janice!!!!!

-ms carol!

oh well, and kelvin's one i shall miss! cos that'll take up one whole day which i cant dig out! im sry! hahahas. 

hahahhas!

okay, anw,, i hate it when someone is like tattooed into my freaking head. its not nice. hahahahs! i hope i'll see my lovely friends soon!

Not nice..

Hahahs! Im sry! I know i should be studying instead of blogging here. But oh well, i just need to do this now. Well, u might think its lame for me to say such stupid thing when i can spend the time studying, maybe im just stupid in this way(:

Ok, i dunno, i just dun like this feeling. When someone gets close to me, talk alot with me, n then , suddenly dont at all, it just feels so weird. So weird. So not nice. Well, its not a very nice feeling. So let me just put it down n forget. Why r pple in this world so cruel? Haha

Enough nonsense. Let me 'love food'