04/03/14

Tuesday

Today I resumed work as a part timer at sgcc. Well, I wonder what Im doing with my life, going back to this place where I couldnt grow. Maybe I'll meet people that'll help me put things into perspective. Maybe just like what Weisi says, we'll just have keep trying different things in life till we find what we want.

Last night

I met up with Weisi last night and we had a short catch up. Well, her internship location made her sound like she's really ready to face this industry. With those networking with many different people, and understand this real business world. Realize that we've all changed bit by bit with the different knowledge that we're gaining. Different profession that is. 

The gone relationship again.

She asked me about what happened to my relationship. And then here goes the long story, never forgetting that part which when all my friends hear, they'll be SUPER SHOCK about. Idk if the thing I did that time was truly that shocking to everyone. I guess I truly had put my heart for him. 

The other two person

I look at Awesometie and his gf. And I see another relationship gone, but the two of them seem to still love each other. Im so skeptical about people and about love right now. I dont know how should I advice them both. Should I push them back tgt with each other? All I see is that they're wasting this affinity they had with each other. But then again, I myself do not know what's love really. I guess what's impt is that they're both happy no matter what happens between them both. Two truly nice people. But life's just making everything so difficult.

True love

Well, Im happier these days. Valentines day was the stop to my sorrows and the start of chasing for the glowing happiness from within. I realized that I had stop thinking about him and feeling sad about it. I've stop feeling sad that he isn't here anymore. But then sometimes I truly wonder if I'm really over it. People says that it wont be gone so fast. That I'll need lots of time to get healed from this hurt. I know I could be happy again. I kept telling myself and kept telling everyone that I really really want to feel happy. Do you understand how it feels? To desire to be HAPPY? How scary sometimes sorrows swallow up happiness and we couldn't control it? 

I could say Im slowly moving on with my life because since the time Im back in Singapore, there's just different people walking into my life to be here to help me. Right now, I really do have this friend that seems to be indirectly helping me somehow. Sometimes I'm really scared, that I'll fall back into that deep hole. It's true, this world is dark and cruel as it could be. I look at Thohir, and I see how scary heart breaks could really harm a happy person. I wish Thor will be happy again someday. He's one good man.

But then again, even after getting hurt myself, I still wonder if True Love still exist. Whether it'll happen for me someday. I guess deep in my heart, I still believe in true love where two people love each other enough to stay no matter how hard life could be. I'll still go around asking people do they believe in True Love. Everytime I get amazing answers. Especially for people who are married for many years, and still believe in true love and not feel drained frm their marriage... They make me believe that True Love does exist. Just in different forms, different ways for different people. And I know, Love is a really BIG word..... 

Love,

ZiHui