the mondaymonday..

i think this is one of the very few photos we have together so far...

♥

anw, today is a monday!!! oh well, was suppose to go small aunt's house to find her and listen to her views, but i end up sleeping like a pig till quite late..... hmmm. gonna find her tmr instead!

so first in the morning! i have GEOGRAPHY OF TRAVEL N TOURISM? heheee. hmmm. gonna just conquer it.. BELIEVE....

after that, was so excited!! cos i can finally go biz park n eat my TOMYAM! been craving for it since the start of sch! HEHEEE^^

after eating, went to accompany susu to buy her psycho bk!! haha.. then we waited at mushroom to see if the person susu wanna buy bk frm reach already.. THE WEATHER IS SO FREAKING HOT! n i saw my DEAR^^ heheeee.. so nice to see him! though i video call with him, but then its just diff... seeing him in real life makes everything diff.. i realise i really really miss him.. haha...

anw, went for biz computing skills lecture... i swear its like a omgg.... i wanna slp.... but guess i shouldn't be like that cos this sem must turn out well!!! I MUST NOT GIVE UP D:

after that, was at bistro with julia n kelly's grp! they celebrate gwen's belated bday! D: no present for her D:

then i went to library with NOAH! n i stoned in my sit, slp awhile... hoping to see my dear, trying hard to not slp n do my peer teaching stuff...zzZ haha!

then dear came^^ n saw aaron inside the com place! anw, after that, dear came n crash with me at my understanding art lecture!!!! hehee♥

oh well... then its SWIMMING TIME..

KK.. CHANGE TOPIC OF MONDAY TO...

MY SWIMMING FEAR...

today, learn BUTTERFLY D: horrible horrible.. i feel so damn clumsy doing those strokes... i dunno how my body should feel while swimming... my head n my body is confused.. so am i! haha! omg... i swear i feel like a retard.. ok not retard.. i feel so weird.. i cant coordinate my body.. n i just cant move my body properly.. it feels weird.. awww.. my fear... oh man.. i must embrace it! oh man.. i wan to embrace it.. n i will.. oh i must believe.. but i swear.... its so hard to believe... cos i dun feel anything while kicking n pulling.. oh goodness..

oh man...

kk thats all.. my body hurts! TAKECARE ALL♥

missing it all..

ok so this morning, i woke up, feeling very tired.. but im motivated to go to school and do project(cos i must feel that) .. on the way to school, i got a text from small aunt^^ she asked if im awake.. so i said yea! and she called me.. been so busy with everything.. that i dont even know how long ago was it that i last see my aunt.. and this feels so sad..

cos it suddenly reminds me that i havent been seeing everyone of them for so long.. it seems that im away and gone.. small aunt asked why havent i went back to see them like how i say i will.. but im busy.. and she said that everyone have been mentioning bout me.. so sad)':

that u know what? tears just flowing out of my eyes on the bus ride to school.. idk why.. the feeling of sadness is being dug out.. i really miss everything and everyone back at my aunt's house... all the things that i always do... like breakfast lunch dinner with them... everything.. watching tv, eating, laughing... somehow... i just miss them.. and i just feels so sad...that my stupid tears just flows out.... omg cry on bus sia... isn't it crazy??

then i started to feel this familiar feel.. i rmb that last time, when i shifted to stay with my third aunt and small aunt, away from my grandparents and my papa, i use to cry everyday.. everytime i leave my house, i will cry.. cos i always dont feel like going to my aunts house.. i guess its just feeling attached to the place and the pple alot.. and i really really miss those times when im there.. i miss being there, staying there, staying ard those pple that i love. it feels like im going through another round of change in my life once again.. and this feeling is like shit)':.. its not like shit.. it just feels sadly awful.. that i didn't even realise that it feels awful.. i only know that when im shifting my things, everytime i feels like im tearing bit n pieces of myself away from them.. and i do really feel like crying... and idk why... idk how to let it go..

like hearing my aunt's voice, i feel like crying.. it just feels so sad... to suddenly realise that im not staying with them anymore.. that i dont see them so often anymore.. im thinking if this decision is a wrong decision i've made.

today, i was telling susu about those little S.T.U.P.I.D stuff.. and i just realised that by talking bout it, i suddenly see things clearer.. this thing that i saw clearer, i haven't think through to be able to say it here.. but soon i will type it out..

i feel helpless... and i do really really miss them. do they even kno?

):

i wan to cry. cos it feels as if im going through another change again)):

ARGH!!!

IRRITATING SIS!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

ok, why must she always get on my nerve, ok, i am so.....

why must she always come and irritate me?!?!?!?!

anw, i'm like in tired and happy mood when i reach home after i went to joan bowen cafe!
then come home papa say tmr i go sch do project, shouldn't have went out today! OMG!!! CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHERE IS THE LINK OF GOING OUT AND DOING PROJECT? DO PROJECT=NO GOING OUT? WHAT'S THAT?? STUDY THE WHOLE SEM IS IT? OR STAY HOUSE TO GET IRRITATED, AND THEN NXT DAY PROJECT? OR GO OUT, THE NXT DAY GET IRRITATED AT HOME? WOAH FREAKKKKK..
anw, i was fine with that cos i just dont say anything... -.-

then this sickening sis!!! come home, i come into my room, she follows me in! then she start rattering off!! TSK!!!!

nvm, she say tmr go wai po house(which i dun care whether im going or not cos im not linked to anyone-.-)
then afterthat, i sat on my bed, then she have that irritating show-off face looking at me.... and u know what she SAY??? SHE SAID 'JIEJIE! JUST NOW I SLEEP ON UR BED LEH! THEN I COVER UR BLANKET LEH!'(in chinese) WOAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! OMG IDK WHY BUT I HEAR THAT AND I DONT FEEL GOOD!!

then i look at my bed, before i leave the house, my blanket is like so neatly folded, then my bear is like lying down at the corner of my bed properly! all my soft toy is like so special n precious to me luh! that i dont anyhow let anyone touch! especially my sis!!! she likes to ABUSE MY soft toy!!!!!!
and my blanket is not folded properly!!!! TSK! WHAT THE SHIT! WHY SHE MUST SLP ON MY BED? want slp nvm, can... BUT cant she not touch my soft toy?!?!?!?!?!? and why must she make a MESS of my stuff when im not at home?! isnt it stupid! WHO GAVE HER THE PERMISSION?? and u know what, last time, the bed is bought n she is suppose to slp in my rm with me, then they shift the bed to their rm, so she GOT HER OWN BED! RETARDED! WHY MUST SLP IN MINE!!!!!! ok im not being stingy bout sharing my stuff here, but its just WTH... I CAN SHARE WITH HER, BUT WHY MUST SHE GIVE ME THAT PROUD ABOUT SLPING IN MY BED AND TOUCHING MY SOFT TOY WHEN IM NOT HOME FACE!!!! TSK

IRRITATED ...TSK!

WIMOWEH WIMOWEH!! HEHEE

Ee-e-e-um-um-a-weh
Ee-e-e-um-um-a-weh

Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh

In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight
In the jungle, the quiet jungle
The lion sleeps tonight

Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh

Near the village, the peaceful village
[- From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/token-lyrics/the-lion-sleeps-tonight-lyrics.html -]
The lion sleeps tonight
Near the village, the quiet village
The lion sleeps tonight

Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh

Hush my darling, don't fear my darling
The lion sleeps tonight
Hush my darling, don't fear my darling
The lion sleeps tonight

Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh

Ee-e-e-um-um-a-weh
Ee-e-e-um-um-a-weh

♥

 ok, so this photo is taken during the prawning trip.. and i love this photo^^

 ok, so webcam-ing is better than talking on the phone, cos i can see his face!! hahahaha! hi lovely friends! this is how my bf looks like if you all are wondering how he looks♥

and of cos, not forgetting to put the unglam photo here^^ heheee♥ monkey!!!

HERE'S A FUNNY PHOTO TO KEEP U ENTERTAIN HERE^^ HEHEEE

HOHOHOHO!!! IM SO EVIL!!! LOOK @ JINSON!!!! HHAHAHAA!!!!! GOTCHA!!!! SNAPSHOT OF HIM OVER WEBCAM OF HIS RETARDED ACTION!!!! SO CUTE!!! N GAY!!! HAHAAA! OMG THIS IS SO FUNNY^^ 

im so sorry dear, this is really funny♥

♥zihui((:

i love jinson and i will always love him♥

WEBCAM

ok, so today is quite funny! was surfing the net, and was chatting with dear deer on fb! then i saw the video call thingy, so we tried to video call! then i realise that my stupid webcam is upside down n we can talk but he see my face upside down!!! so irritating! anw, i captured a FUNNY expression of DEAR! SO TEMPTING TO POST IT HERE! BUT I GUESS HE WILL KILL ME IF HE SEE IT HERE!! HEHEEE!!!

then when i reach home after dinner, i want to see what i can do to stupid webcam! end up know what? i call miko on msn to test! and my webcam is ok!!!!! but its funny! i guess on msn then? heheee! so we started playing! quite fun! IM GLAD TO SEE MIKO SMILING^^

hhahahaaa!!!!SMILE PEEPS!

my timetable!

hehe! so sorry bout not sending u my timetable! cos idk how send! heheee^^
here's mine!

ENTHU..

HIHI!!
hmmm. lets just say im not crazy, but ENTHU to study k? omg crap..
i compiled the IMPT dates for this whole sem! and i think its crazy!!! omg.... there's so much things to do! and i think, after this, i will start to think of the wkly stuff to study and do... D: POLY IS CRAZY.. AIYA... LIFE AFTER SEC SCH IS CRAZY..!

hehe! so lets talk about today! today i started school at 4! which is commskill! my tutorial cher (pinpin) is alright! and omg..... my fear for commskill! i shall kick that away huh? hehe!
so after commskill, is CALCULUS! OMG A MATHS AGAIN! THAT'S CRAZY!!! COS I FORGOT ALL BOUT IT!! AND U KNOW WHAT'S THE MOST CRAZY THING?? THE LAME JOKER LECTURER FORTHE BORING RHT LAST SEM IS MY LECTURER FOR THIS CALCULUS THINGY!!!! SIANZZZZ!!!! OMG!!! I CANT HELP BUT SAY LOADS OF'LOL' at dear jinson's face!!! and ooops! hehe! didnt even realise that! hahahahaha!!! but u know, the lecturer is REALLY DAMN FREAKING 'LOL' LAME LAST SEM!!! CANT STAND IT!!

OK THIS SEM WILL BE GREAT^^

and today im not alone @ calculus cos DEAR DEER is with me^^ hehe^^ ♥

know what?

ok, yesterday im so irritated! i think im gonna be forever irritated by her! ok i kno that makes me a very bad person!! but what to do! i wanna say *no brains* and everything!! but then, i feel its not a right thing to feel this and to say this! how can i vent out my frustrations? omg! why am i even thinking of venting out frustrations? i kno im very bad!

but deep inside me, i dun like her to nag at me or lecture me at anything cos i just thinks that she have no rights to do that! i think i've been feeling this since primary 3! but OH CRAP!! I DIDNT REALISE IT TILL NOW!!! CRAP THIS THING!!!!! TSKKKK!!! HOW?!?!?!?! yea.... i always feels that she doesnot have the rights! cos she's just not my mom! she didnt went through all my growing up process! and she definitely have no rights to discipline me cos she just dont! idk! OMG!!! i dun even have the feel of BASIC RESPECT towards her like a daughter even though i call her mom!
and i think she just invaded my privacy by touching my stuff. she touched the stuff that my dear gave me... and i think she read the letter he wrote me!!! FREAKKKKK THAT!!! WHY SO STUPID TO READ AND NOT PUT IT BACK PROPERLY?! IDIOTT!!!

OMG THIS IS LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT THAT IDK HOW TO SETTLE! COS I DUN WAN TO HURT ANYONE!!! BUT THEN IM THE ONE GETTING HURT COS I DEFINITELY DOESN'T LIKES THAT IRRITATION FEEL!!! CRAP THIS SHIT!!!!

i miss all my aunt.. and my grandma.. i feel like i'm being away from those i feel very close to. i miss staying with them, i miss staying at the place that i feel like i'm home)':

how)':

OFFICIALLY..

ITS OFFICIALLY THE LAST DAY OF MY SEM 1.1 HOLIDAY!

ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT TIME FLIES!!!! HEHEEE^^

THIS HOLIDAY IS INTERESTING!

COS SOMETHING BEYOND AWESOME HAPPENED TO ME..
ok.. so this is just how im gonna summarize my holiday i guess^^


a new sem is here! and i must anticipate it^^ im gonna plan everything and be very prepared for it!
and this sem, im definitely not gonna give up on things so easily! i've got to keep going on and pushing myself forward! and not forgetting to care for pple that i love^^

SMILE EVERYONE!
LETS BRING ON A POSITIVE ATTITUDE IN EVERYTHING THAT WE DO!
I KNOW IT ISNT EASY AT TIMES, BUT I'VE GOT TO KEEP ON BELIEVING IN MYSELF..
KEEP ON BELIEVING THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK..

yesterday, i cried..
and im so sorry that i caused dear jinson to feel sad with me.. i will always try to cover up when im crying.. cos i know that it will affect those that love me.. when im explaining to him certain stuff, i cant help but let my tears flow.. but part of me wished that i'll be stronger and not cry.. cos i kno that he will feel sad too..

and now, i saw it.. i love him more than anything.. and it will never ever change. cos i realised that last time i will always say that the only guy i love and will say i love forever will only be my grandpa.. now, although i will always love my grandpa, i will also say that i love jinson.. and i will love jinson forever too.. its deep from my heart.. i feel loved by jinson like how i feel loved by my grandpa.. whenever im with him, i feel very safe and protected like how i feel when im with my grandpa..

im not trying to replace my grandpa with jinson.. im just saying that i truly truly love jinson like how i truly truly love my grandpa.. and i know that everyone comes and goes in my life, and that i have to accept it.. and live in the moments which are worth it..

yesterday, i felt sad cos i suddenly thought through the things that are happening and i see that i cant solve the existing problems.. then i felt so sad, and to prevent myself frm crying, i start to numb myself and feel like shutting myself up from the world.. i even came close to really really shutting myself up, and put my phone aside and shut myself out frm even my dear.. although i really feel like being numb n stay by myself and cry by myself, i know that i dont want to leave my dear there.. at the back of my head, there's things telling me that my dear is there, and that i cant shut myself up from the world cos if i do, what will happen to my dear?

so i picked myself up, and i looked at my phone, to see miss calls n incoming calls.. im so sry..
then my mood starts to become better and better when i talk n laugh ..and hear my dear's voice..

then when we started talking bout serious stuff, and it came to a point whereby he says that i need to be mentally prepared for the stuff that might happen, that i sometimes cannot live in my perfect bubble of imagination, my heart suddenly sank..

its the sinking feeling of sadness.. and once again, that sadness is back.. and i have no idea why..
then i start to realise that im upset because i realised that i want to live in my bubble of perfect imagination, and that i am not prepared to face the reality..
that i actually might escape from the problems and not face it.. that i actually have been escaping from my problems, and i pushed my problems away by telling myself its alright, and that i shall just smile and be happy like wat..
i guess i just cant solve my problems, and i feel like no one is helping me with trying to solve it, that i just wan to escape.. till yesterday, i realised suddenly that someone wants me to start being prepared for anything that can happen, and when the problem comes, that i will not be alone, and i must first be brave to face the problem so that it will all be good..

that's all... hmm.... ok... enough of my long long sentences.. goodbye(:
hopefully my lovely friends out there will be fine^^
♥

tired..

IDK WHAT HAPPENED TO ME):

but im saying here that the weird mood is here to visit me..

u know, the mood whereby i just wanna shut myself from this world?

i wonder who understands how i feel...

its the kind of feeling whereby i'm kinda upset about stuff, then idk what to do, then i starts to think n think n gets so tired of thinking....

then i starts to feel numb about everything..

then it feels as if that shutting myself down from everything will be the best solution..

so what the hell is this feeling? ok... omg... its terrible feel..

i want to talk to jinson dear.. but then it seems like i don't have the freedom to live in my own space..

it feels as if everything is just so stupid.. i wish my parents would go and slp.. so that i can talk to him..
but they are awake.. and every time i talk in the phone, they will nag n nag n say phone have radiation.. n when i use the phone in the living room, i can hardly answer him anything cos it seems that everyone is listening to what im talking about. i wish i dont have to hide anything. i wish i have the freedom to do whatever i want. why do u want to restrict me?! idiot!

ok im sry that i use idiot.. but yea. just to let it out. its really idiotic u kno?
i suddenly rmb how i gets so frustrated with every single nags from mom. u know how irritating is that? i always wonder why i would be feeling so irritated. now i've figured out.. the way she nag at me about stuff is as if how anyone will nag at a pri sch kid. please luh. how old am i? idiot man... every tiny little things u kno! idiot. sry. but idiot.! n its like ok.. its so irritating luh seriously. i haven't come out with why is it like that.. someday i guess i will know the answer..

im so tired of living this life... its like idk? i'm tired.. i really am.. but i know i should forget about thinking of all these.. i should just push it behind me and then live my life like there is nothing hurting.. that its all prefect.. i must be happy not cos everything is perfect.. it's cos i must decide to overlook the imperfections that exist.. how i wish.. i would really really be alright.. but i know deep down that all these problem really exist. just i decided to push it pass me.. but every time it comes back, i've got no choice but feel that i hope i can shut myself down from this world of cruelty. i know out there there are many others life that are much worse than any of this.. and all these things are just so stupid to feel unhappy about.. maybe i should start appreciating and stop complaining about life yea?

u know, i feel like crying so much.. but then i will just think cry for what? then i start to feel numb, and dun feel about anything at all... then i feel like not caring to reply anyone.. but dear jinson is at the back of my mind.. if i dun reply him.. i think i really have problem already yea? ok...

bye sad post..

20/10/2011(:

so in the morning, i went to school to meet my new group project mates^^
had some fun looking at the damn freaking weird TIMETABLE!! esp when one CDS is not included!!!! ANGRY! HEHEE! JKJK!! haha! so i've got UNDERSTANDING ART as my CDS! but oh man! i don't see anyone that i know taking UNDERSTANDING ART...urgh.. i must learn to adapt again! but oh well, i hope everything will turn out fine.. hmmm.. not fine.. is it WILL turn out better than i've IMAGINE^^ seems like an interesting CDS! and i can finally get in touch with something relating to art again! the only irritating thing is that im suppose to have 2CDS but they gave me 1 ONLY!!! TSKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

so after that i my dear deer met me in sch , then we went off to spend the rest of the day together^^ its kinda sad cos we know that its the only time we can spend time like that before school starts.. and everything,everyone starts to get busyyy! ok, i miss him so much! okok.. haha..

anw, the sky didnt look good.. so the plan of going to ecp to flyyy kite has to be cancelled...

we sat bus to bedok interchange, and we went all the way to clarke quay.. but hmmm..... we walked from clarke quay to chinaaaa town! then we walked to the heritage tour^^ hehe! and we sat at a comfy place n talktalktalktalk.. didnt kno how long we sat there.. but those chats where always nice.. i felt so love.. cos whatever he says, its all very very sincere((: ♥

after the china town heritage tour, we went to vivo^^to meet his nice bro zhiren^^ and we also went to uniqlo vivo!! but i didnt see any familiar faces! ahhahah! anw, we went to 'idk whats the name' place to eat^^ and aiyo... dear paid for my food.... tsktsk.. hahaa.. why is he so nice?..♥

anw, after that, we went to the roof? is it? to OBSERVE PPLE! HAHA.. and dear jinson shared with me some story of his 'bros' haha((: and he keep asking want to step in the water or not! hahahaha!!!!! omg!!!! its so weird luh! n hmmm.. though i wanna play in the water with him, somehow the water looked too nice to let us step in,.. so i decided not stepping in would be gd^^ heheeeee.. im such a spoiler......):

anw, then we walked walked walked.. n walked to sentosa!!^^ its been so long since i step into the sentosa ground man!^^ its beautiful inside there.. the lightings at night and stuff^^

and omg!! he brought me to play something very fun! WE SAT THE SKYRIDE^^ AND PLAYED THE LUGE!!! HAHAHAHAHHA! OMG ITS SO FUN!!! COS I KEEP LAUGHING^^ HEHE ♥
and omg he paid for this too!! haiyooooo!!!!♥

and then we went to take the monorail?? isit?? back to harbourfront? and before we take it, we stood up there and look at some water performance thingy... its so nice standing there with him...

but the day have to end.. he send me to my house downstairs, where we bid farewell... oh man... its so sad.....)):

but oh well, the day have to end!! LETS END WITH A SMILE^^ HEHEEEEE♥

for AHEM

HELLO^^ I KNOW U WILL BE READING THIS^^ HEHE!

why say sorry for the long post? i read every single word of it even if my brain dont rmb everything^^ im glad u are posting^^ hahaa!! ok... where should i start?

somehow, even though we don't get the chance to talk, i feel that when u blog, im listening to you talking^^ hahaa((:

anw, u are not acting like a mom((: cos basically most of my best friends(including you) have the same reaction.. even my cousin too! they sUddenly thought 'OH MAN! ZIHUI GREW UP?!' hahhahaa. its quite funny u kno((: and well, i will update you soon^^

i also wants to tell you that no matter what happens in the future, when certain situation hits u, and u really cant take it, ALWAYS RMB THAT I WILL BE THERE FOR U AS SOON AS I CAN OK? when you face those situations alone and you feel like you are gonna break down and you need someone there, i will be there for you ok? SMILE.. AND HOPE FOR THE BEST....

you know, when i read the paragraph of you writing u see me as 'THE DREAMER' ,.... i feel so touched and i teared abit.. ok whats wrong with me.. tsk. hahhaa ... esp ' everytime after talking to you, i will find light in the dark tunnel.' i felt really really touched when reading this^^ heheee...

and yupps, i believe that words have their own power too.. and some pictures are added with words, i guess its cos words really helps in expressing feelings and thoughts?

and i also believe that you will one day be able stand up and speak for yourself... and do whatever you wants to do^^ cos all of us will reach that very day where we will let our parents know that it's time for us to make our own decision, cos we've grown up...((: so dont worry! i guess u will be able to fulfil your dream^^ the music thingy for ur blog, if u need help, i can always help u with that yea?(: heheee.. SMILES FOR NOW!!!

AND LUCKS FOR UR RESULTS?

AND OF COS, MEET UP SOON!!! TELL ME WHEN U R FREE^^
♥

WHAT IF'S

YOOHOOOO! SO WHY IS THE TITLE 'WHAT IF'?! 
this is because, i woke up in the morning like that... hahahaha!!

ok, so yea, i guess i woke up thinking of jinson dear, and i feels quite scared to lose him.. now i finally know why he felt scared that time.. i nvr understood it so deeply... and today, when i woke up, the fear is injected in me... i guess he inject that fear in me indirectly... i always live in my own bubble of imagination, which runs wild and perfectly.. cos i always believe that BELIEVING is very IMPT..

its like THE LAW OF ATTRACTION.. if u see that certain things will end in awesome way, it will.... if u see it will end in bad way, it definitely will too... hahahaa. so yea, i guess after O's, i've became very negatively.. its only when the holiday starts(one month plus ago) that i started to believe in myself again.. when i started to bring that part of myself back again.. although im not as confident as how i am in the pass, im not believing in myself like 120%, at least i'm ard 99% back to the part which BELIEVES?

and well, i'm scared... of losing him.. OBVIOUSLY RIGHT? hmmmm. haix... did i ever mention that i use to tell myself that if i ever wants to have a boyfriend, looks dont matter, but of cos character does.. that's what everyone will agree to.. but i also told myself that if i have a bf...i must feel safe with him.. cos i realised that the 'safe' feeling, i dun get it with just any guy.. so it will mean something^^ and the only guy that i feel safe with is my grandpa, my papa, and of cos my DEER^^

and i feel so bad.. ahhaaaaa... kno why? cos dear jinson is always very sweet.. cos everything he do, its deep from his heart.. like how u know, he will kiss me? but i guess im really bad.. im a bad zihui... cos i've nvr kiss him back before.. and i guess, since i've realised that, he of cos will feel that right? but truthfully, no matter how bad i wan to kiss him back, i just dunno how to go about doing it.. so every single time, i just put it aside.. hahaaaaa... HOW ZIHUI HOW.. WHY R U SO STUPID??

anw, today when i woke up, i immediately went to third aunt's house! heheee^^
HAPPY GIRL^^
and i guess im such a lazy pig! cos susu stayed so damn far! and i stay so damn near! GUESS WHO REACHED FIRST?! SUSU!!!! AHAHHAHAA!!!
oh well, so i went there, then when there's only susu,small aunt & me in the kitchen, i start to tell small aunt about that day, the encounter of talking rudely to shan, cos she irritates me!!! TSK! then small aunt told me some other stuff, and i guess i havent got over it.. the fear of this thing, that i cried.. idk... i just still feels sad.. over all these stuff.. i really cant take all these stuff... so that makes me  sad cos there's just so many things.. i definitely dont wan to see my papa scolding second aunt.. i dont want to see all these disputes. cos they just makes me sad..)': idk, idk why papa dunno how to think... they dunno how to think.. why i must be the one that think so much): and i kno, all my aunts will always be there for me, they will help to prevent all these things from happening.. and i felt so TOUCHED.. that i also cry... haix... n idk why... but i just feel like they are too gd already.. that i will cry when they talk to me n give me advice.. they had done many things for me definitely... haix....

anw, i guess that's depressing enough, and i should stop talking bout it.. anw, so damn sorry to suyi.. cos i think i scared her when i suddenly start to tear... oh man......hahaa!

ok, i think today i ate freaking many meals!!! OMG!

morning-kaya bread! kaya cooked by small aunt^^ ♥
afternoon-2bowls of curry♥+2piece of bread+half a prata... and i tell u, the curry is damn nice!
night-1bowl of curry♥+3bread, 1bowl of rice+fish+fishball+fish cake+loads of vege
 *vomits* cos i eat too much

ok look, i already eat too much curry in the afternoon!!! and when i woke up, i feel like eating curry again! so i ate curry!!! then i realised my mum cooked dinner in the morning-.- so i got no choice but to eat again!! oh my freaking goodness!!! eat so much!

anw, LAYLIN
GLAD that promos is over for u!!! hopefully u will get the study mood for ur chi A's!
anw, ur MRT incident is really damn freaking omg!! and yea.. bear with those inconsiderate pple!! cos u kno, they are just like that! maybe their way of friendly is by KNOCKING INTO U? hehe! omg! JK! hahaaa!!! JUST SMILE!!! HAHAHAHHA!!!
AND THE HELPING INCIDENT is like.. hmmm.. nvm, so long as u r doing gd deed, who cares whether they appreciate or not? just be happy cos u kno, u r doing SOMETHING GOOD^^ HEHE!!!
and i guess that guy in ur class must be an idiot, but dont worry, u r not a bitch ok!!!
SMILES!!!!!

and hihi PEIPEI
idk if u will be reading this, but hehe.. thks((: JIAYOU for ur school ok!!!! lets get a GPA4 this new sem^^
and definitely, i will text u my timetable when i gets it^^ and we shall meetup during this sem ^^ haha!! JIAYOU!!! SMILES^^ HOPE EVERYTHING IS GREAT AT UR SIDE YEA?((:

with LOVES♥
updates soon^^

PRAWNING..

oh well, so today is prawning day with the team^^ it was quite boring.. haha! prawning need patience n stuff.. somehow, i pictureed it as something old man will do cos they have all the time in their life to sit n prawn^^ ok... heheee..

anw, today is a nice day(: cos my dear is there^^ hahaaa♥

i also went to meet CINYEE♥ to pass her her VERY BELATED BDAY GIFT! OH GOODNESS!!!! I MUST START THE OTHERS TOO!! I MISS HER SO MUCH!!! hahaa!! even how she pinch my cheek i also miss tat!!! so fnny yea? too bad i cant sit n chat with her cos i thought i should get back to the prawning area!! D: haha(: anw, jinson dear is with me to see her^^ so cute right((: ahhahaah..

so well, nothing much, its so horrible how the PRAWNS gets poked through the whole body man!!! D: ok.....

ANW, MY MUMMY IS DAWNDAWN^^

haha! today is awesome cos i can see dear! so sweet that he always accompany me to wait for my bus... hopes he gets home safe too(: he's always sweet in those every small little way♥ hahaa(:

will miss him...):

anw, i wonder how is my lovely friends!!!!!!

btw, I JUST SAW UR BLOG!! U SHOULD KNO WHO U R!! OMG FREAK UR HISTORY QN!! REALLY JOKE!! OMG!! BUT NO JOKE!! ITS UR PROMOS!!! HOPE EVERYTHING WILL TURN OUT FINE!!! D:

THAT'S ALL♥

RAIN RAIN LOL...

ok.... today i woke up rather late^^ so i straight away ate my brunch^^ which is sugar bread+milkmilk-.-
hahaaaas!! n i woke up receiving msg frOm my dearest DEAR^^ (im so nice, i nvr use DEER) heheeee^^
he is so sweet♥
n then it was RAINING-.- n i cant go n buy hanger...
so i played music in my room... apparently no one is home! then i lie on my bed n text dear♥
n i think of dear .. so funny.. ok..((:

anw, i didnt meet cinyee today D: to pass her the VERY BELATED PRESENT.... I CANT STAND MYSELF MAN! IM SUCH A 'GD' FRIEND HUH.... OWE PRESENT)):

HEHE! BUT I'LL MEET HER TMR WITH DEAR^^ HEHEEEE..

ok, i shall stop here... today, nothing much luh...zzZ

OKAYYYY....

15 october 2011 (saturday)
okay, woke up in the morning and saw text.. papa is unwell, & he'll look after shan shan, and i can go IVP and support the TEAM^^ esp i can SEE dear(:

haha! so ivp was like woah interesting, but recording the timings are like a tsktsktsk thing only! HAHA!

seeing dear swim is like NICE^^ hahaaaa((: and u kno, he is like so sweet^^ he knew i havent eat my breakfast! so he brought food for me to eat!! like aww.... sweet TTM^^
♥♥♥
anw i went to take bus with EMILY^^ then we took train to amk together too^^ on the way, had nice chat with her^^ am quite inspired by her determination in doing things^^ and she's always so nice^^ like a sister^^ if only i have a sis like her^^ haha!

anw, i reached home, and i bathed and everything, then comes call from DEAR^^
hmmm.. felt so helpless when he was pekcek... haix.. haha. but then, i guess the call did end well^^ no matter what i still love him like super much, infinityly... hahaa!! ok i dunno how broken my english can get... lol(((:

16 october 2011(sunday)
went to granny's brother's house to pray ancestor...
after that, went to min sis house to pack away all my stuff!
then went to big aunt's hse to swimswim! hhaahaa!

hmmm... i will really miss everyone at third aunt's hse... BUT I'LL BE BACKKKKK((:

anw, i wasnt feeling very ncie just now..ok, topic,...

BEING A BAD SIS...
ok, am really bad.. i kno, i dun need to say im bad.. but i kno im bad... cos i just really really cant stand shan asking me those qn!! lol! imagine a person asking u about ur EVERY SINGLE ITEM!! gets so damn IRRITATING KNO!!

then papa say she's my sis,that i shouldnt talk to her in that way! but what can i do man!!!!!! its getting on my nerve!!! yes one time, i can allow myself to just act like im gd, and then talk to her nicely! ten when i gets too nice to her, she just keep asking n asking!!!! WOAH!!! TSK TTM!!!!

ok, then i am like so sad can? i teared but no one knows. retarded or what? u kno, papa says that shan is my sis, i should treat her nicely.. ask me to look ard in the family, n that he is getting not happy at how certain pple treats shan? but oh pls man!!!! argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY AM I CAUGHT IN THIS MESS???? ok, so well, obviously i kno there's a difference in treatment towards shan.. but its because of the way shan is!!! what do u expect?????

HOW CAN U GO N COMPARE THE WAY PPLE TREAT SHAN N ENEN???? !!!!!
look at enen, she's very OBEDIENT OK!!
look at shan, U THINK SHE WILL BE SO OBEDIENT AS ENEN????

I REALLY CANT STAND THIS SHIT MAN!!!
so now u are telling me that there is unfair treatment??
ok n did anyone ever realise that LIFE IS ALWAYS NVR FAIR?????
n well, what can i tell u??? u think life is so easy for me??? so easy for me to tolerate nonsense??? no... definitely no... no one understands.. stupid shit.. just wan to cry. FREAK.

WITH YOU ♥

DRINK BOUGHT BY DEAREST DEER^^

hehe♥

so today, i finally moved all my clothes back to my own hse..

while packing and shifting, my moody mood suddenly appeared today..

yesterday, i cried while shifting the stuff.. cos it feels so sad... to leave everyone.. haix... maybe i'm silly? cos they are just few blocks away right? but yea.. i will miss everyone of them alot... haix...

told dear that i was feeling moody, n packing my stuff is freaaking heavy.. then before i kno, i'm on the phone with him. really loves him(: idk how to describe but yea  i love him alot too.. though i dont say it and tell him as much as how he tell me how much he really love me, i do really love him.. 'you make me happy when skies are grey~' hahaaa((:

for DEAR JINSON♥

oh well, i will miss you dear(: you dunno how sweet u really are(: i'm so sorry that i was a little stunt back then when u were about to kiss me on my cheek. hahaaa. cos i was thinking 'huh, kiss me when u get a strike at bowling?! omg?!' hahaa.. so i moved back n look at u!! heheee! n hahaa! i guess that's pretty funny(: cos i didnt realise what u were about to do! but yea it's nice(: SO i guess u lost ur first kiss to my cheeks yo^^ hehe(: love u(: and do u kno how sweet it is to kiss me on my forehead? i feel so loved by u always(: i cant describe to u how much i love u, but all i can do is hold on to ur hands and lie on ur shoulder♥

to LAYLIN♥

oh man, i read ur blog, and well, i hope jiahui will be alright..): anw, those pple looks cool...(:

and yea i will tell u bout my stories soon^^ JIAYOU!!! PROMOS WILL END VERY FAST^^

to PEIPEI♥

realised u didnt blog so much(: i wonder how is ur throat! i hope everything is going fine^^ and well, sch is starting soon right? hopefully our timetable has some nice day n we can go amk hub to chill(: update u soon! rmb to update me too^^ JIAYOU FOR START OF SCH^^ MEET UP SOON^^

UPDATES

12OCT

 ITS THE EACH A CUP DATE WITH...

 MIKOOOOO<3

 CHAMPAGNE^^

 THE ROUND ROUND MOON THAT MY CAMERA CANT CAPTURE NICELY):

 13 OCT

SWENSENS TREAT FRM SMALL AUNT<3

 MIN SIS N I<3

MY I-SCREAM!

OK THIS IS THE OAKHAM DAY PHOTO!

this is the BLUE place i like^^

ok, so here's the updates^^

10/10/2011 monday

• my first date(:

11 october 2011 tuesday

• red dot day+paper market with susu<3

12 october 2011 wednesday...

so today is the day planned to meet miko! 

in the morning, my sweet lovely DEER came all the way to AMK to accompany me.. hahaa.. he's so nice(: so touched that he would come all the way just so that he can see me and be with me for awhile^^ ♥

we reached ion, & we walked ard^^ n we went uniqlo too^^ so nice to see so many familiar face^^ haix man! wanna go back n work!

DEER said lets go work together nxt holiday... so CUTE^^

& we walked till we meet miko! hahas.. when i say bye to him, haix man, starts missing him!!! ♥

so after saying bye to DEER, miko n i went to far east n WALKED... oh man! i really dont like shopping cos its so difficult for me to like something u kno!!! and when i like something, there's this thing called whether it fits me or not... TSK... haha! i realised that my character is like MIKO! wooohooo! we r both of the same kind man^^ hahaa! n CONGRATS! the last time i see her, she dun have bf, now she have^^ she's like me, dont wanna anyhow enter relationship^^ MIKO MILO! hahaaa! 

so oh well, we walked till we r so tired! guess shopping just isnt our thing!!! anw we wentback uniqlo together too! n i saw NAD!!! OMG MY LAUGHING COLLEAGUE!!!!! I MISS HER! THOSE LAUGHTERS!!! n she told me there's a new staff that looks like me! oh crap! so funny! but when i see, she DUN LOOK LIKE! TSK! hhahahaa^^ 

anw, after that, miko and i went bugis n nua at subway with our $2.10 drink! (sry DEER i drank cold drink)

to sum it up, its a great day meeting miko n catching up! hope i can see her soon! but i guess is nxt holiday!!!

after that, i went to meet weien and adrian for the steam boat! so funny! adrian brought his gf along^^ hahaaa! so awkward if weien is there alone with them! after eating for close to 2hr, sue-ann &michelle joined us...^^ i'm bad, cos i drank champagne!! D: so scared that i will get drunk... so i drank small sip by sip, and after every sip, i ate those meat, drank alot of soup.... then the cycle continues! hahhaaa! n surprisingly, my face didnt even turn red^^ and this weien is like drunk? he looks like he is stoning ! so freaking funny i swear! no JOKE! i think i will have fun seeing pple drunk nxt time^^ LOL

so that's the end, of cos, my every single day is ended beautifully with the calls frm my dearest DEER^^

13 october 2011 THURSDAY

okay, in the morning, i woke and then ate my breakfast, nxt thing i kno is eat lunch at swensens^^ thks small aunt^^ heheeee

after that, we came home, n i start to be a PIG....

then i woke n i went to shift my freaking stuff.. i feel so sad that i'm shiftingaway)))':

when i was awake, i really miss DEER... so i went to play the music box.. n realised the song is actually 'you are my sunshine' SO NICE♥

oh! n i was called MONKEY while he is DEER..

so funny.... i'm thinking.. am i MONKEY?!?!?!?! OMG!!

ok, so yes! i've done blogging!! omg sch is starting! i HAVENT GO MEET MY LOVELY FRIENDS!!! D:

N MY CARDS ARENT DONE!!!

ohhh!!!!!!

 the rose (:

artsy rose<3

 nvr imagined that u would want to bring me to see this sunset, though its blocked, i will see it using my heart^^

 a place to rmb<3

hehe!
i realised i should had taken photo of him and the nice view!

((: just wanna say that i am thinking of you every single moment^^
miss being with you<3

the RED DOTTY DAY^^

 snapping photos continuously on the constantly changing colours...

 the toilet! seems like so ARTSY TOO!

guess what?!

then susu & i so curious that we walked towards the guys toilet! HAHA!

 SITTING ON THE DISPLAY D:

 ITS TEQUILA!

 susu made me do this D: HAHA!

 susu trying to act like she is actually lying in the bath tub!

 through the hole-.- 

:D

 the first thing i see when i step into the museum^^

ENJOY THE PHOTOS!

 IDK WHY BUT HORSE REMINDS ME OF MY PAPA!

 CHOC-O-LATE OH!

 LOOKS LIKE STICKY!

 IT REALLY CONTAINS WINE!!

 susu^^

 I THINK THIS PHOTO IS NICE^^

 OH SO CUTE THE TAP!

 TOILET BOWL?

 HEHE! ALL BLUE^^

 COFFEE OR TEA?

 ... NICE BASIN YEA?

 BEAUTIFUL BATHTUB !

 SHOCK SIA...

 AUTO TOILET BOWL!

 LOOK!

 CREATIVE?

 DEFINITELY!

 BLINK! LOL-.-

 TADA LOOK AT WHO IS THERE?

 NICE^^

END OF RED DOT DESIGN TOUR^^

 AT CITYHALL...

when susu saw this, nice! then i'm so retarded, cos i said, 'looks like da bian!'

HAHAHAHHA!

ok, so YES!

i finally went to see the red dot design museum! its the best museum i've went cos its like everything oso can touch! hahah! ok, maybe its itchy hand,..... hehe^^

and i wan to go through the artsy tour cos i wonder what kind of things is there to explore^^

soon^^ hehe!! with my DEER((:

:P