Recent Z

Dear all my lovely friends,

It's been for quite some time since I last blogged? I've been really tired lately. Maybe because my mense is suppose to come soon? I dont think I have that PMS probs? When mense comes, I just feel like really tired for nothing I guess. 

So whats up recently? Everyone have been pretty busy with life eh? Judging that no one really have that time to arrange for meet ups or texting over the phone to ask about life? Haha. I've been pretty tired lazy busy. Haven't been exercising much too. Feeling all unhealthy already. 

So I've been busy working for maybe going 1month already? And don't I miss this reception that I used to work at? It's beautiful isnt it? We always miss those things that we dont have.

So here's to swimming!! Went swimming by myself again(: well, life's been just a little bit different and back to how it used to be 2years ago? ( that is without jinson ) but life is gooooood (:

Finally went to Udders for waffles!!!! My first time eating at udders(((: hehehehe. 

Panda chair! Isnt it cute?! I wanted to sit on it, but my friends ask me not to sit on pandas :p lols(;

So i've met these lovelies before they starts working their butt off idk what?(: but i hope that their journey will be a fruitful one(: 

Love,

Z

Till i post again(: hehe. Not much thoughts recently. Just passing my life in a blur, which doesnt sounds gd.

Z & Work

Hello to all my dearest lovelies reading this!! How is everyone? Well, I hope that all of you are coping well with the things that each of you are facing in life.(: 

Work? I've been seriously working for quite a bit. And I saw those schedules for next two weeks. Damn, I have no off days )': 

I thought about how my good friend sayyah could work 7 days a week. Then I start wondering if I'll ever find a job that I won't feel tired of working at all. Working 7days a week is indeed crazy even if you're doing something you love. By the time I reach my next off day, I'll be feeling like such a freeeeee bird I swear. Working consecutively for 2weeks straight, all PM shift is not funny. 

Feeling nothing much these days. I guess my feelings for people are kind of starting to die down. I stop feeling for people around me. Stop making myself feel anything already. Or is it I've let go already? Learnt how to let go of people who won't stay in my life? Learnt how to go with the flow and just do what I want without bothering much about how others might feel about me? Learnt that even if people aren't here anymore, I could still be happy for they've ever walked into my life(:

Time will speak^^ Right now let's just eat and be happy :D

Love,

Z

Z to the days after

The days after deleting those photos will definitely get better. Lovelies did not stop me in time to delete those photos. If PJ did tweet me to not delete them, do you think I would had kept them in those memories? 

I always gets bored when Im walking to work, waiting to buy stuff, travelling out the house by myself, taking bus. When Im bored, I often look at those photos I had in my itouch. And I've been so used to browsing the photos I took with him since long time ago. It's almost like a daily thing that I'll look at those photos and think about the moments I had with him. Today, as I sat waiting for my bus and I starts browsing through the photos in the past, I realized that I might just regret deleting them all. There is no trace of the photos with him anymore. It's so much easier to not even think about him. 

I guess that's why 'the days after' is definitely gonna get better. For I've done myself a great favour by not keeping those memories.

Here's a retarded photo of me, and of cos that very cute little girl beside me(;

And here goes! Trying to appreciate the little things I see around myself as I walk anywhere by myself. I love how these trees look against that beautiful sky that's turning dark. I hope the next time when some guys wanna date me, they'll bring me to see sunrise and sunset(: okie im dreaming again, but I can always dream(: 

So here's to today's photo with my lovelies(: I couldn't say how glad I am to have them still. People that'll stay in life. Im their 'ah ma'. Because they think I look like an ah ma and talks like one? HAHAHAHAHAHAH. 

After work, I totally forgot that Im meeting them for dinner!!!!! But I was so happy that Im meeting them^^ Ate $2 fishball noodles!! Damn its cheap so My treat(: and Im their personal waitress, they must be so honored to have free waitress servicing them (; 

Look who has that cutest phone? *winks*

And hahahah!!!! MCFLURRYYYU YAYYYYY

SO HAPPY TO EAT MY MCFLURRY(: regreted not buying coke to drink :p now lying down thinking of how thirsty I am for COKE. Damn it.

Here's to TEACHER TAN(; Never would had imagine us all in different profession huh? From that Engineer MH to that school of Humanities PJ, and to a Hospitality ZH.

And yes let's end this post with my favourite screenshot photo(; 

Keep Smiling there(: 

Love,

Z

Goodbye Love

I know that I'm weak, that I couldn't delete them all without looking at them for the last time again. I guess there wasn't proper goodbyes, no proper ending. 

This would be the last time I'll ever have any photos of us to post on my blog. Yes it'll be the last time because I'm gonna proceed to delete them all later.

I had over 2,000 photos with him over the years. More than 2,000 photos that'll remind me of those very moment at the places that we've been to. Well, it's been a crazy ride with this guy. I love this relationship because it happened and progressed in the most natural way. I could be silly with this person, and we could be weird around each other. It's really the time to say goodbye, for I know that Jinson had found his own happiness. It always hurt looking back at all these moments. As I type on, I wish that I could let those sorrows out, but again there's people around me. There's no reason to be sad over the end of this relationship anymore. It was once beautiful. Like how this song goes 

Oh but at often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright light turns to night
Oh until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

'Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
Others only dream of the love
Oh the love that I love, yeah

 For the weirdest moments captured

Thanks for the silly acts that made me laugh.

It's time for goodbye. Goodbye to this love, Goodbye to this past. You've found happiness and I'm happy for you even if I'm not in your happiness. Aren't I the silliest person ever? I know that this love wasn't easy, bad times won't captured but the good times were. It wasn't a relationship that looks as perfect as how those photos look, there were many unpleasant moments that I never did talk much about. Part of me was really glad that it was over, and some part of me still linger over these beautiful moments. I know that I'll never look at Jinson and think about anything else with him anymore. Time to wave goodbye to this heartache, yea it made me feel alive for once. Thankful for this love, thankful for this affinity, thankful... I'll hope that he'll always have confidence in himself, and that he'll live a life greater than the story of his parents. & I hope he'll build that family of his that he've always described about. Goodbye to you, goodbye to these memories, goodbye to what was once beautiful in my heart. Just goodbye to what wasn't meant to be. No need for these photos anymore. For we took them with the intention of looking at them when we grow old tgt. No more we, no more meaning for these photos. It's Time. 

Let the memories that should stay, stay. Let them fade where it should fade.

Z loves blue

Just a random photo with a random title for today's post. This is that beautiful tree I saw from the ilight Marina Bay. Isn't it beautiful? 

As I lay down on my bed in this empty house, I start to laze my day away, thinking of the things that I could be doing instead of just lying down here blogging. I imagine myself going out to do things etc, but here I am imagining & planning to do things without doing them. Have I always been like this? I wonder. I always daydream, thinking & reflecting on the convos that I had with people that I've met. 

Recently, I met this colleague called Annie. She's so far the most bubbly person I have at work. And I've only seen her once. Couldn't forget how much I could just laugh as this person talks about her opinion on things. And I realized that I've changed. I am not the person that's so bubbly when I work anymore. Neither am I patient when it comes to dealing with people. Yesterday I was just chatting with awesometie on how we all seem to have lost that patient self as we grow older. And lately, don't we just realize how we get that feeling of angst easily? 

I lay down here, dreading for today to be over. Im gonna be working 7days of pm shift straight. Then when my off day arrives, Im gonna help out with cleaning of the new house, then I'll be working all the Pm shifts straight for don't know how many days. Now I get why I'll feel tired physically. Who loves working so many days straight? Especially when the work seems to flow so slowly. I couldn't lead this life feeling unmotivated. I need to feel the motivation to wake up everyday to do something. 

Alright, since my day haven't start yet, I've no idea what I wanna really talk about in this post. 

Love,

Zihui

And I've decided that the next time I on my laptop, I shall start deleting every single photo with him inside. I decided that those memories I had with him, shall not be brought forward to my future.