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Morning 7:25...29th Jan2011!!!!!!!!
Waiting for bus at bus stop! Wondering if I would be late for work! This morning , I didn't wake up @ 5:30!!! Didn't my alarm ring?????? OMG!!!!! but lucky there's small aunt there to wake me up! Omg lo!!!!!! She woke me @6:30!!!! Den I rushed to wake up by saying 'SHIT' <<<< the first word that I've said today!!!! Omg!!! Ahahahahahaha!!! Hopefully I won't be late! Must go n draw money cos my wallet is only left with less than $5! Recently keep nets-ing! Hahahahahas!!!! Tired sia!! Only slept for how 'LONG' ?! Ahheemmmmm

31jan! 12:03! Midnight!
Anw, really wanna Jote my thoughts down. U know I guess I'm actually living my life in self denial.. U know, I wonder if I'm really happy. I only know that whenever I'm happy, it's something that I've chosen. Realized that in life, there's always two path. It's either this or that. I chose to be happy cos I dun wanna live my life or rather, waste any minute of my life being unhappy. But I know that there'll be this one day where I'll be very very upset. I guess I need to find one day to go somewhere quiet myself. To think bout things. I know that on thatday, I'll cry. Haix. I dunno why. But I can feel tears swelling up in my eyes.. But I didn't allow it to flow. I guess I just didn't go with the flow for this...

I was telling this someone bout my story on the train back frm work.. Is it exactly my story? But Anw, it's something that happened that affected my life. I've nvr imagine myself telling someone this story n I actually felt like crying. I thought I've already gotten over that. But it's creeping back. Or it's appearing suddenly. Tats when I realised that I've actually been living my life in self denial. I'm smiling everyday just because it will make me happy. But that's this other side of me that can be totally sad. It's just I didn't show it. I realise that not many knew that. They see me on the outside & asked always why am I so cheerful. I have nothing to say except to smile. Cos I dunno what to answer. But I thought, if I dun be cheerful, I'll be a totally sad person. I'ce decided not to live my life being sad since pri2/3 when I was told what happened. I've only grown very sad when I'm pri5, when my beloved grandpa died. I guess, even till now, I haven't gotten over his death. This really would kill my emotions. I haven't gotten over it. So where is he?? U kno, if he is here, I'll be the happiest person on earth! I'll be happier than what I am now. I wouldn't even feel like crying. But he's not here for me now.. He will nvr be here again... I wonder if I will ever see him again. Feels so sad. But I cant help it. I'm sry to say, but I'm crying now. Silently in the room. I hope my cuz dun come back soon.. Cos my whole face is wet with tears. Hopefully my eyes will not be red or swollen. I realized for now, only thinking bout the lost of my grandpa will only make me sad. I guess, the person that I feel the most closed to is him. But he isn't here. He wont be here. He can't be here too. Eugene once told me that it's ok that he isn't here, cos he'll stay in my heart, he is in my heart with me. But he's just not here u kno? He's not here. It feels horrible. Only his photo is here. I really miss him. I hope I hope... I dunno what I'll hope for. Everytime when I say I wanna be 3 yr old again, u kno why?? Cos my grandpa is there(: n I'll be the happiest naive child living in the home with my grandpa n grandma.. I dunno what I'll do if my grandma isn't here anymore. I guess I'll be really sad. I can't put into words....I guess.

How I wish someone is there to be my listening ears, where I can say all out at on go, but part of me know that I won't let someone be my listening ears. I guess i've decided not to get into relationship. Decided not to drag anyone with me n my life. Decided to do this. Decided not to get very close with anyone so much. Cos I know that if I get close to anyone when I can dun get close, I'll just end up getting hurt. Cos everyone goes & comes in life. No one will be there forever. No one. Pple grow up, die. Grow up , die. It's a vicious cycle of life. Haix. What's the god really testig us in life?? Why makes it a cycle?? Why this, why that? I've always been asking too much qn. And I know that curiosity kills. Nvm.. What rubbish yea? So ok, finally typed whats on my mind. Can't think anymore. So well, till I type here again. Fr now, I'll bounce back(: I'll go with the flow. Be happy go lucky:D & live my life happily now tills I need dig all this out & clear away sadness with my tears, & be back to normal again(: so now my sickening eye feels kinda weird. Dun wana have it swollen tmr pls): ok! It won't be swollen. It's the law of attraction. Think of it being not swollen n it will not.. See I'm crapping again. I know that someone will read this soon n ask bout what happen. Just to tell my beloved & caring friends.. I'm fine. Or rather, I'll be fine as always. I guess it's just life, I'm choosing to be happy(: so my ans to why I'm always cheerful will be cos it's something that I've chosen to exist in most part of my life..

Goodbye. I guess I should wake early tmr, should I go jog ? Should I go city square mall early to look for clothes?? Hmmmmm. Today, a customer made me smile cos she say I'm so sweet when I greeted 'Thk u hope to see u again:D' it's something that keeps me so happy. Another one is one grp of idiotic Guy, went in, I said hello welcometo UNIQLO, den while saying, they like continue the 'welcome to UNIQLO while I'm saying. It's made me open my mouth wide n Nxt, laugh so hard:D SERIOUSLY, they kno I'm saying that! Stupid luh make fun of me(:
Also, if I dun take things in life for granted, I should Thks pple who says nice things to me. Hmmm. Say I suddenly rmb aziz always see me n says cute, I should have said Thk u. Instead of stare at him weirdly, Hahas! So this is nt taking life for granted. Haix. I must start to not take things for granted. I must be thkful for being able to be here to type too yeA:D something like that:D

Ok! I shall post this with my previous post..:D

SLEEP

Omg! Shoukd be sleeping now I kno! But' okay!!!

SUMMARY OF 28th January:
•today I did 5.5hr of front! Can u believe it?? HELLO WELCOME TO UNIQLO! THANK U HOPE TO SEE U AGAIN?! REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT!! I felt so nuisance of my own voice! But no choice!! N these grp of stupid guys!! Not exactly stupid, but well,... When I say Thk u hope to see u again, guess what?! They one by one say thank u hope to see u again, laugh laugh laugh ! Baichi or what?!
•I feel kind of special whenever I read a blog n I kno that the person open that blog specially for my eyes only. The person will kno who am I talking bout(: not naming it(: Anw, blog is such a nice way to stay in touch with knowing ur friends well over the yrs(:
•today is the first time I didn't sit train Home. Cos I extended. Hahahahahas!!!
•ltr must 5:30 wake up!
•ltr must bathe!
•ltr must cut nails):
•ltr eat cake before go work
•Omg I feel like eating Royce chocolate!!
•oh yayy! Pay is on the wayyyyyy
•omg' haven't buy cny clothes!!!!! Tmr?? Sunday??? Monday??? Tuesday?? Seems like singing that 'Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday friday saturday' that song!! Who knows what imma talking NEH?? Hehe:D
•everytime I'm walking with someone, I always feel like singing走走走走走我们小手拉小手走走走走走我们去.....~ that song! Hahahahaha!! Childish neh'n I'm just a kidd! So true lo! Hmmmm. Nvr growing up! Haiya


•Omg I'm losing blood tmr): crap luh. Anw, I realise that I can't donate blood. Anyone can guess Whyyyy???
Bonne nuit<3
MISS SO MANY PPLE!! imagine if I quit UNIQLO! I'll miss even more pple!! Miss everyone! Where r all my friends?! Woahhhhhhhh

tralala.

I guess I'm running out of originality with the stupid titles that I post with... Today, was a damn crappy day after entering cotton on-.-
Anw, went to look for granny with min sis today.. Den went to tampines, but didn't really walk, den went 313 UNIQLO. got handsome assistant manager there! Hahahahas!! Lols-.-

Hahhahahas! Afterthat, went to far east. The cotton on @313 is idiotic. Took 40min to try clothing! Bad customer service NEH! -.- Anw, the mood was spoilt since den. What a crap, went far east n walked rounds & rounds & ROUNDS & ROUNDs!!! But didn't buy anything-.-! Goodness!! Think I can only go amk to anyhow buy cny clothes Liao-.- or go nex?????? Haix. Nvm. Only can rmb wanna go nex buy my swimsuit.! Hahahahahahas:D got arena leh(: I love arena(: I rmb I had this arena goggles!! So nice de!!!! Comfortable:D but lost Liao): since den nvr wear goggles to swim! Omg I miss swimming!!!

Anw, I'm super blur recently, I've forgotten to mention(: tmr work! Omg! Why do I feel so tired???? Work is so damn endless sia! Can't bear to quit this job oso, cos it isn't a bad job!!! Hahhahahs! Omg when I go tp Nxt yr, should I go tampines n stay @ my aunts hse where my granny will be there?? I'm still pondering on tat matter.. Staying there = everyday granny's food(: <3 X infinity. But Anw, I guess I won't wanna regret. U tell me how long a person will live??? Hmmm. Won't say anything inauspicious or what.. But Anw, I wanna cherish my nainai(: and also everyone ard me(: Haix. I suddenly miss my d'art club teacher, mr Sam lim. He's such a great teacher.. I rmb the last time I asked for his help for art club, he called me n gave me advise even when he left the sch already. Isn't he an awesome teacher?? Hearing his voice again makes me wanna cry at that time, I rmb...... Haix. I dun even kno why. Hahahahas!! But he really add loads of meaning into the live of all art club member:D exposed to d'art forms. Living our life with certain standards,there won't be any piece of art work being handed in with no standard.....

Anw, I'll stop saying all those things. Tmr have work... I should be sleeping. Try to sleep now close my eyes, try to think of tmr~ Lols-.- I realised that loads of things are changing for everyone of us. Certain things I can't even say here. Hmmmm. All my friends Have loads n loads of things happening... Some dun even inform where they r going. Some r just stepping out,without a goodbye...

Typed on 27th January 2011<3

now & then

I realised that my title is always this or that. Hahahaahs!! Anw, feels so sleepy! Haven't finish pasting the photos to put in dairy! Omg! My dairy can't close!! How NEH?! Omg!!! What kind of new dairy should I buy?! Do u think I should continue pasting things in my dairy?? Hmmmmm. Haiyo. How NEH?!?!

Anw, just went to read pei's blog. Realised that she wrote loads of things there!! Omg!! One of the post like essay!! If u're guessing, I'm thinking bout English lessons. Hahahahahahas!! I think when everyone is busy, the way to keep friends updated is by blog. I guess I mustn't hate stupid blog. Shall keep posting till the day I die. Ahahhahahaahs!! JKJK:O after reading pei's, I went to read cinyee's blog! Omg I miss her too!!!!! My very best friend @ the beginning of sec sch! Woah! Time flies! Still could rmb the first say I saw CINYEE(:

Oh! I miss sleeping alot. Tmr will be busy day(: Haix. Work the day after tmr. Seriously I need to rest well, or else I'm always on the urge of quitting this job. Must not give up so easily in life right?! I've survived working for 2 months le!!!! Persevere !! I rmb that I dun wanna persevere when working cos I must work because I love it. But that's what on my mind now. Getting tired. N I'm nt getting sick but am already sick . Nah... Hmmm. Haven't recover. I guess. Many pple say so): just few more months to go! Maybe I'll end up saying just one yr!! Hahahahha...

Today I'm super duper blur. Went sch n help ms chew invigilate a class, collected test paper, pass them to ms chew, end up putting the visitor pass inside those sheets of paper, went round the sch finding them. I'm so damn lol. But at least had the chance to talk to pei(: keep smiling:D

Anw, I got in TP!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay, soon, my life is gonna be adjusted. In many many wayyyyyy... Haix..... Idk where will I be staying, who am I gonna meet n work with in sch. What CCA would I join, will I continue working in UNIQLO? Will my friends n I be able to keep in contact?? Will I be able to go n teach jeannie&eugene? Will I be able to make decisions bout where am I gonna stay? My life is gonna start all over. The start of poly will be like the start of pri & sec sch. If I'm gonna stay at my aunts hse with my granny, it'll be like the time when I just started to stay at my cuz hse when I enter pri1.. Just that I won't cry like in pri1 bout dun wanna stay @ cuz hse, cos I'm happy with granny<3.. but there's one thing.. How bout my father???? Haix. One day I'll still need to go back right?? As in what?? Am I nvr belonging anywhere?? Or is it that I belongs everywhere?? So confusing. My life. Since the day I was born.... Fated to be like that... Didn't even get to choose... Haix.... Must nvr nvr do the things that my parents did.... Think think think..

Byebye once again! Sleepy! Time to slp! Tmr shop shop! Hopefully could get my clothes. Pls pls dun let any fully Black n white things catch my eyes. Cos I might end up wearing black & white:O

Bonne nuit:D

speechless

Hahaa. So that's what I do to pple. N isnt that what I want?I mean so that's what I've wanted to get in return for what I've done. But why its............ Well,...... Time to fill up my dairy instead of here..............

Anw, I wanna thk pei for everything(: will miss her(: shall go everywhere with her(: Hahahahhas. Hope that pei will be alright. I think something is bothering her... Why is it that there's always this friendship thing to think about? Hmmmmmmmmm.... Hope to meet all these friends soon... Everyone is busy in their own life, including me. Busy @ UNIQLO.

Another person, is laylin. Actualy at my previous post, I type alot. But com got prob.. So all gone... Wanna tell laylin I'm glad to have her as my friend. Glad that I could make her laugh n smile. Glad that she let me be her listening ears. Glad that I can be there for her. Hope everything goes well for her(: n I'll meet her real soon too:D miss her too(:

Anw, I shall fill in my dairy or else I'll be so tired to think, so tired to feel, so tired till I won't fill in my dairy. I miss my grandpa.

Bye

heres some pictures:D

yoz!this is barbie doll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my childhood toy neh!

just donated it away rather than keeping it to rot!

my cashier!! when i started using the real chasier, this one is really sooooooo......!

SEE my teletubbies sticker!!!!!!!<3

my computer!!!!!!! had this when i was pri 2? kept till now leh:D

had this thing when i was in nursery or kindergarden i guess:D

the shoe i drew for suriana:D

okay! so thats the end of todays posting of some pictures...

anw, my neck is seriously irritated by that 'happy' necklace that i love.. but i'll nvr wear it again cos it leaves me with some kind of rashes...!!!! haix....... anw today is papa & xiuying's bday!!!!!!!!!!

anw i hate my hair. but who cares. hahahahahs!!!!1 should go cut it nicely. the previous idiot hairdresser anyhow anyhow cut!!!!!!!! hmph. but anw, nvm luh.. just hates tnhat guy!!!!!

ok .. starting work at 2 ltr! yesterday jingyi & I went to eat that ice cream!!!! <3!>

things undone:

-havent reply a msg that i should.

-havent finish up my 2010 dairy... actually wanna drag till before cny finsh, den go n look for a new dairy liao..:D

-buy a big box to contain all the things, memories of 2010..

-havent buy cny clothing..

Omg stupid blog! Post half way! Undone! Dun care Liao!!

tired~

Woah. I think I miss those times where days were easier,slacker, loads of time for myself..
Now, it seemed that I dun have time for my family n friends, & on other hand, dun even have time for myself too. Why am I living my life like that. I guess being the working class isn't that easy.. Although when u get ur pay, everything will be worth those time. Cos I'll say time flies.. N seem that one month's pay is actually that easy to earn. I've already worked for 2 months.. Now counting to the third month. As the days, weeks , & months flew pass me, takes away my youth, I didn't even know what I myself is doing during all these while. Somehow, Im just getting very goal-less.... Although it's nice to work @ UNIQLO, sometimes, it's just not worth the life time. I can't imagine working in UNIQLO for my whole life. However, I can't imagine myself quitting UNIQLO too. How will it be like. I thought it will just leave me with emptiness. Somehow. It's like saying goodbye to all the pple I've got to know in this short period of time. N leaving nothing behind, moving on to the Nxt chapter like no one ever knew me or me not knowing anyone at all. I must really sit down n think soon. Before I make any decision. My aunt told me not to work part time while working. I guess the whole family will agree. My aunt asked me to work teaching pple, tuition. But am I up for that?? I believe I can do well, but can I teach well????

Anw, I haven't been exercising.. & when I went jogging on Friday, my whole leg kinda muscle cramp. It's always like that. I really wish to swim many laps soon.. Anw, Kelvin went jogging with me.. The whole while, my energy was going off cos we jog n talk. I guess I should not go jog with him Nxt time cos I'm like wasting his time. I guess he didn't jog much..... Hmmmm...... Hahahas! Anw, so sad that many r quitting job @ UNIQLO, but that's life I guess. I dunno how am I living my life now. I have decisions that's yet being made. I really hope to ge my own ans soon.. Dun wanan regret in life.. I guess who wants right???

Tmr work. Back to work. Hmmm.. Everyone has doubts bout themselves.and me myself too. I realise there's truly so many kinds of pple in this world. N who is the one thats truly truthful towards me?? Who can I seriously trust? Haix. Who is that person out there??

Anw, today I bout some art materials... Spent $69.90 @ krafers... But told small sun I spent $50, cos she'll be shocked that I've spent so much on those stuff. Seriously, I hope n hope.. I've got so many things to say here... But I guess I should not reveal myself , my feelings too much here... Cos idk who out there is reading.. Hahahahahas!! Havw stalkers! Ltr die Liao.! Hahahahas. Anw, hope everything goes well.... Sleep. Anw, chocolate!!!!

Who wants to watch movie?? I hope to watch comedy. So what movie is out now? U see, so busy at work to even have time for myself..

Au revoir! Update here soon! I guess I shall go city square mall to buy my new yr clothings!! Who will accompany me?? Hmmmmmm.......

hmmm.(:

SUMMARY:
•woke up early today morning to go jogging!!!!
•gonna meet WEISI @11 for lunch den go work!
•slept for 30min! Just woke up!
•Thks to pple who cared to ask what happen to me(:
•sry to pple whom I can't reply msg now
•is my smile at work very forceful???
•stupid jielun say he dun like my eyebrow! As if my eyebrow ever offended him-.-
•finished drawing shoe to give suriana!!!!! Hope she likes it(:
•should I go swim tmr????
•so tired! What should I do tmr?????
•Hmmmm...... Lols!!! I better pack my bag now:D
•MIKO coming back! Hahahahahas!!!! Nxt shoe to draw!!
•Woah.... Nvm.. Bb(:

if I'm a guy, I'll be the greatest jerk right now

Anw, this morning didn't start smoothly. Reason being, the first thing in the morning, I checked my phone for msg.. And there was this one msg frm this very Gd friend.. 3 pages long. After I read that, I immediately felt very very bad. Reading what had been sent made myself feel that I'm really a very bad person. Hmmmm. What to do... I didn't really kno what can I do. I guess I just need to type them out(: since no one is appropriate for me to talk to, I shall type on my blog. I guess this isn't a place where many will read my thoughts. Somehow, I hope I can write everything here.. But once again, I should hide some in my dairy yea???

I picked myself up when I go work. Smiling & all, serving customer genuinely.. However, somewhere deep inside me was feeling so bad. Seemed that I truly had hurt some feelings of someone tat truly love me. That sounds weird. But Anw, seriously, I think my cousin was right.. I didn't irritate that person... I just acted too childishly.. Like how I told jielun. I think no one should like me. But talking to jielun was like talking to sarcastic idiot. He just makes me feel bad at some point. But Anw, was glad tat I can actually tell someone what happens n how I feel..

Anw, miss MIKO NEH!! She's @ Taiwan now! I wonder who can advise me!!! Jielun?? No.. He's idiot! Jkjk(: hopefully he won't read this.:P MIKO??? She's @ Taiwan. But I believe if she's here, she would have given me some advise:D I told jingyi what happened, how Im like might hurt the person's feeling, but no time to really talk... Haix. Who NEH? My cousin just tell me I'm bad. Like very seriously...

I wishto tell laylin(: but she's stressed by her own things. I wish I could be there to listen to her thoughts. I wish she'll carry on without being irritated by those pple. I wish I wish. I wish I know what kind of person I like. So that I can keep those that like me out of pain. Dun really wanna hurt anyone leh. Pls luh. Anw, I hope that I have some ans soon. I dun like pple to wait for me. Anw, wireless is gone!!!:O I'm posting this tmr!

Currently, date:19jan2011;10:25pm!! Time to slp! Work work!

(: smile smile & smile

Anw, it's been quite some time since I use the iPod to update my blog(: Anw, life's been busy for me. It seem tat I'm really letting it dash pass me now n den. Updating this blog meant that I'm joting down my moments(: there's so many things tat I hope to be able to type here, but not knowing who is reading this prevent me frm doing so.

Anw, this Saturday, idk what to do! Minji invited me to her bday BBQ which I think will be fun to go. I can oso arrange with peijun to go iluma again! In addition, I also can go out with laylin & Simin. Or I can go teach Jeannie maths. I oso haven't go out with CINYEE!!!!!! Also, dun forget bout Janice &Ming xiu & ms carol!! Lol!!! Who should I go with????? Hmmmm. Think i'll better not go anywhere. I shall postpone them to ltr dates huh?? But I somehow promised them already): Haix. Who can advice me. I hope all these friends wont mind going out with me @ ltr dates. Hate disappointing pple....

Anw, alot of things happens @ work! Tired to list them here. I guess I shall fill my heart contents inside my dairy. More truths can be found there(:

Anw, I guess tmr being an off day will be a very busy day for me as always! Guess I shall wake @7/8,leave hse to go back my hse to pack things ard 8:30?? By 9:30 must travel to find granny(: first go tampines find if got clothes to buy(: by 11 leave tampines to go fid granny(: by 1:30 leave granny hse to travel to serangoon?? Find Jeannie by3 , leave her hse by 4, den travel back home, first go market to buy vegetarian den go home by 5!!! Woah!!!! Busy me! I shall sleep by 6 tmr(: cos wed working mooring shift NEH!!!!!!! Type here soon(: Au revoir!

2011!!!!!!

okay!!!! heres a cute enen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

missing kukup!!!!!!!! nice sun?!


min sis like so dangerous eh??
okay!!!! the nice view early in the morning!!! of january 1st 2011!!!!!!!!

royce make my voice missing!!!!!!!!!

met with laylin!!!!! she bought me this frm italy!!! so thoughtful!!! nice card!!!!

TCC slacking~

enjoy picture~

laylin's msg!!!! she say rare!!!! actually is photos i've sent her!! hehehe!!!
ice cream after result!!!!!! <3 href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkBoKjEAXobLIrVTQ1gNQ88RWHf8RCaeELKQXvP24LGCvaFPvUDOR3m9Ahe8juvwq-vYfHc5mVsOwQhy5asev1-KIUPyI3HcjOyIJUrwfvILpIh7516wl8Jt2cE8mR2T1i52yaVdRkGoQS/s1600/Image1132%255B1%255D">
post other days!!! going work!!!!