Moving On

The Last Beautiful Photo of Cenang, Langkawi

Taking photo of people and the beautiful scenary.

I do miss Langkawi and the relaxed lifestyle there. Somehow I'm really glad that I've made it to Langkawi. Looking back at those photos, it's as if I've traveled out of Singapore for 5 months. Leading a life different from the ordinary. I know I've fulfilled my dream of travelling to another country to work and experience a different culture. I definitely did not regret this HTM path that I've chose. 

A Song Stuck in my Head

This song is titled 'Bubbly' by Colbie Callait.

As I continue this journey of 2014, in the month of March, I see this new HOPE in myself. I'm gonna go with the flow with things, and stay happy just because there's so much reason that I should be happy. Maybe there's no reason, but I just feel this glowing happiness from within. Is it weird mood swings or what? I never did find myself in mood swings last time. I rmb I was almost always happy. Getting together with Jinson did change me just by that little bit. He was so negative about everything in life, while I love to believe in positive outcome and believe that people are good. I know that there are so many ugly things in this world, it's not as if I'm not aware about it or I'm naive about life. I just want to believe that there's always something good somewhere. Why would we wanna live every moment hating about the way people are or the way life works? Is it wrong to want to think the good of everything and be NAIVE? 

Jinson always hates the way I think. He hate it that I always think that people are nice. When I'm with him, I realize that I couldn't be myself. Because I love him, I learn to see things the way he sees it, and I hate arguing with him over the different thinking we have. Most of the time, I just stops arguing my point of view and shut up. He was more of a realist and I was a dreamer. Well, of cos it's good that there's someone to give me a reality check but I want to be able to dream too. I wonder had I been able to shine and be a better self in my relationship? I know I hadn't really done anything that I've wanted because I always feel this restriction. Love shouldn't be like this right? I'm really sad when what was built ended and vanished. But I remember this part of me that was really glad that I'm able to break free again.

I know I have no problem staying committed to a person. Before I even get into relationship, I know that I would be committed to the guy I get into relationship with. Never did I see relationship as a PUPPY love. I guess I was just really serious, serious enough to take Love in a real way, where I will be with that guy till the very end of life. Well, I've learnt and know how heart breaks felt like. I guess it's all part and parcel of life? 

I know that many people comes and goes in life for a reason. It's a good thing I guess. I mean the 'coming' part is good. While the 'Going' part will always be sad. I really do wonder who will be still here 10 years later. It's so scary to just dash into the future. 

I want to be HAPPY, I really want to. Be happy from within. Have happiness glowing from the inside. 

Love,

ZiHui

Love - People say that I'll meet a person that's the right one. I know someday I'll believe in true love and I will love someone else with all my heart again. But right now, I just won't think about that because I don't think I'm able to give someone else happiness. And it'll be difficult to believe in love, or that any guy will cherish me. I wish I hadn't touched this love that's like a flame. Someday, someone will make me have that courage to love again. Just someday.