That 'Pillar of Support'

I've came to realise why all these still hurts right now. It's because he had became my pillar of support over time. As time went by, I let this person slip into my heart, as someone important in my life. Day by day, i slowly lean into this pillar and allowed him to give me support in many ways or in any ways. I know he is gone, and it's really time to let go. 

What really hurt still is the thought of this pillar of support gone. I guess it couldnt be helped. How people don't cherish in life. But I guess it's for the best of myself. Yes I could smile again. Someday I would smile without feeling this hurt. And I'll be really happy just because I know I could still love.

This is the last photo of us. Never did I know that this would be the last time of us taking a photo together. Those convos between us that I looked back at, seems so distant already. 

And this, is kinda the last thing I did, to show you how much I still love you, before you go ahead and broke everythingg we had together.

Relationship is just like a house. Where initially, it was just a piece of empty land. As days pass by, we start building the base of it, starts developing it into what our dream could be. Starts furnishing it, and then slowly move into this house, and starts to seek comfort in. Often we'll take this house we had for granted. Forgotten the hardship we went through to build it. Forgotten that hardwork done to furnish it. Somedays, we'll look at the other house and be envy of those. Then we'll start looking over the empty lands and wonder the possibility of building a even better home than what we have now. When the earth quake came and things get tough, we all gets shaken by this shock. But the worst could happen is when people abandon it and walk away. Now that the house is broken, its worthless, it couldnt be built back up. Well, maybe with the effort and spirit, one could build that house again. But then again building a relationship is different from building a house. Relationship always takes two to clap. 

Its time I let this go. Let this pillar of support stand alone. Or rather allow myself to lean away and stand alone. Ya indeed I wont stand alone because I have everyone around me that cares genuinely for me. I know that when life gets tough for me, I will face it in a new way now. Its really time I forget him. Forget the fact that he had ever existed for me or pledged his love for me. 

Just because he had let go of me. Just because I told him to make a decision. Because I promised to free him, I will do it with an open heart. For I had actually set myself free too. Its all fated I guess.

Its time I stop thinking or blogging or writing about this feelings. Time to start talking about my now and then and future. Yes I will stop these.

Love,

Z