Love

Love is just madness.

As I type away my feelings in that email to be sent out to him, I realized that I had actually in fact loved him more than I've ever know.

We often wonder when we will meet this person called the 'right one'. We just sometimes tell ourselves that we could try to love, or wait for this love to come. Sometimes we don't know if we should fight for the love we think belongs to us. Life is always full of dilemma. Or rather, I'm always filled with all this dilemma I guess? It's just a little too funny sometimes isn't it? How my thought actually contradict so much.

I guess I am really skeptical about everything aren't I?

My love for Jinson? I would say I wouldn't regret it. And if I was given the chance to go back in time and make the decision again, I would had done the exact same thing although knowing that I will be hurt in this bad way.

We often wish that we could go back into our past and change certain things to make it all go right. But if we could ever go back, would we really do things differently and anticipate for a different outcome?

Changes are things that really mold us into whoever we are. It hurts for every little changes we make for our own life. Whether the changes are for the better or for the worse, we will always feel unease in this small little ways isn't it?

Of cos maybe we should see all changes as something for the better. Just like how a friend of mine who believes so much in god. She will always tell me that just believe that god is gonna give us something better.

Although I'm not a christian, I respect her believes, and I guess we should really continue walking in our life believing in the positive outcome in the end. Sometimes, the journey gets really tough when we allow ourselves to drop into this dark shadows. Hopes vanishes, positive vibes all gone, and we wonder why are we working so hard in life, trying to make people around us happy? Why are we doing those things and we aren't really happy ourselves? And why is it that we must be happy? Just why? So much 'whys' about life and how we want to feel.

I guess we humans are just filled with all these interesting emotions isn't it?

And I've got totally no idea what I've been writing here at all. I guess maybe I'm just a tiny little bit mental aren't I?

Love,
ZiHui