The feelings

Today I found myself in a new place. Thinking about what Im doing with myself again. As I free myself slowly from the fear of love, I still helplessly find myself drifting back to my past. 

The songs. The meanings. All that doesnt mean anything now. 

The current. I just couldn't put them into words. For I'm still discovering about this person that I'm with. Realize that my friends kind of know me better than I do sometimes. They worry for me about the things that I don't worry about. When I told them about me being in a relationship with someone right now, they starts asking me all the questions as to if that guy is gd enough for me, what he does, etcetc... For I had realized that I haven't known him enough, I don't even know what really matters to him, or neither had I seen him angry.. 

Maybe time will really unfold itself slowly. 

Su says that if I don't wanna end up where my previous relationship ended, I should put things on a rationale side first. For she knows that I will love a person whatever it is when I love. 

I sat on a long train ride home, replaying those songs that speaks for my broken soul. Those songs, the first love, the feelings. & then I got really tired of wondering if I could forget J and love S with all my heart & soul. I feel tired, and I wish that I could disappear from this place once again. In search for myself, to search deeply in my heart to see what really matters to me, and who really matters to me. 

Love,

Z