Love. Fear.

As I wonder about if I could ever love someone again, I just couldnt help but be doubtful of my own feelings. Love? What is that? Fear? It just creeps up unknowingly. 

Love

Love is just something thats really beautiful. Its like how people says that you'll have butterflies in your stomach? Well, we dont literally have those butterflies in our stomach. But ya dont it feel like butterflies? Where the heart flutters like the wings of those butterflies. So alive. 

Being able to love and be love back is just something really beautiful. I guess it's something thats really nice. The feeling its as if we're in the clouds. The amazing feeling knowing that someone out there in this world is willing to love you deeply. 

Well it all sound just so damn freaking fairytale. But in reality there's always ups & downs even when it comes to love. 

Fear

It just creeps back to me. The fear of loving. I dont know if I could really love without fear again. The fear of losing all the happiness that comes from love. The fear of possible heartbreaks. Because Love is just so beautiful. And that makes it all so frightening. The thoughts that these beautiful feelings might just vanish.

I dont know if Im ready for love again. Dont know if my feelings are right. Am I ready to open my heart again? Or to let someone become a part of my life and vice versa? Would I wanna have that feeling of having that pillar of support ? 

Love,

Z