Unsettling.

It's this feeling of having someone, yet not having. Its an unsettling feeling. It's also something that I can't explain on. It's like at times feeling neglected, yet telling myself so hard that it's just silly feelings. Feeling not at all that understanding, yet telling myself so hard that I'm being ridiculous and I should totally understand since I've been out there before. Working and barely having time for anyone, not even for myself. Day in day out, its this cycle that seem so vicious yet helping me to find a meaning to my own life. I should more than anyone understand how difficult it is to have a work-life balance. Somehow, reasoning by myself seems to clear my own thoughts when my contradicting feelings and thoughts come to an agreement on how I should feel. Yet sometimes it still bugs me. Reminding myself of those days and times how it felt like to have someone here for you, yet it seems like its nobody there. Sometimes I wonder if this is how it felt like to have a real relationship in this world. This world where everyone is just so busy and gets consumed with what is thrown at you in life. Is it how the working life is like? Not really having anytime at all. Think back to those times when I was working full time. Those months with Uniqlo, those months with FourSeasons, those months working like a fulltimer but am a part timer at SGCC. Yupp, I could just agree on how work and life had consumed me. Day in Day out. Yupp, now I do understand how it feels, and I must be more understanding than anyone else towards the person I love. Maybe it's just difficult because it reminds me so much of those days when I had a relationship but it felt like I'm single. Phew, at least I'm thinking more clearly now.

I saw this on the web today. I think that Doe Zantamata is really inspiring. Someday I'll purchase the book written by her. For this pic, it's a reminder of how we should see things as of today. How we should live in the NOW. Walk by that quote of ' Yesterday is a History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift ' . Now as much as I can over think too much on a singular thing that I can feel unsettling about or unhappy about. Be it about my life or everything else, I think it's important to remind myself to be positive and be brave to stride on in life with confidence and happiness. 

Lesser negativity and more positivity. 

Love,

Z