Remember this lyrics? It was the first song that I put out for that love I had in the past. It was the song that I heard when I first fell in love and decided that it describes how I felt. It was my favourite song to describe how sweet love felt. Never did I imagine all these to be anything but just a sweet memory now. Time went by, and new life started.
It all felt new. Sometimes I still get that bugging feeling of certain things and scenarios that seem to be like the past. It made me fear as that feeling seem to creep into me. I guess by now, it's something normal in me. I just have to talk about it & put it out to clear up my mind. For I know that now, Im in a relationship with this wonderful man. Maybe I wont think right when Im screwed in my thoughts, maybe I even felt like giving up on all these without any reasons. It's times that I felt like that, weird in a sense, then suddenly feeling alright and happy.
With each passing day, I realized that it got harder to remember what happened in the past with Jinson. It's as if that doesnt really matter anymore. While I still do think that he is a jerk, I seem to have let go of those beautiful memories that I've had with him.
The relationship I had with Samuel seems to be one thats been for a long period, yet it's just been short few month. Initially, everything seems to be overwhelming, with interacting about dreams and future. Now, I seem to look forward to it & wanna dream of it and make it happen together with him. Again, I might not truly know what love is right now. I couldnt describe. I guess love is something that we couldnt really depend on what it was yesterday. Love is something that we gotta work on every single day. Having a person doesnt mean that we can take them for granted, and I want to learn how I could make it all in the now. That photo I once posted on wechat timeline kept ringingg in my head. About how love is like a plant.
Love,
Z
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