WHAT IF'S

YOOHOOOO! SO WHY IS THE TITLE 'WHAT IF'?! 
this is because, i woke up in the morning like that... hahahaha!!

ok, so yea, i guess i woke up thinking of jinson dear, and i feels quite scared to lose him.. now i finally know why he felt scared that time.. i nvr understood it so deeply... and today, when i woke up, the fear is injected in me... i guess he inject that fear in me indirectly... i always live in my own bubble of imagination, which runs wild and perfectly.. cos i always believe that BELIEVING is very IMPT..

its like THE LAW OF ATTRACTION.. if u see that certain things will end in awesome way, it will.... if u see it will end in bad way, it definitely will too... hahahaa. so yea, i guess after O's, i've became very negatively.. its only when the holiday starts(one month plus ago) that i started to believe in myself again.. when i started to bring that part of myself back again.. although im not as confident as how i am in the pass, im not believing in myself like 120%, at least i'm ard 99% back to the part which BELIEVES?

and well, i'm scared... of losing him.. OBVIOUSLY RIGHT? hmmmm. haix... did i ever mention that i use to tell myself that if i ever wants to have a boyfriend, looks dont matter, but of cos character does.. that's what everyone will agree to.. but i also told myself that if i have a bf...i must feel safe with him.. cos i realised that the 'safe' feeling, i dun get it with just any guy.. so it will mean something^^ and the only guy that i feel safe with is my grandpa, my papa, and of cos my DEER^^

and i feel so bad.. ahhaaaaa... kno why? cos dear jinson is always very sweet.. cos everything he do, its deep from his heart.. like how u know, he will kiss me? but i guess im really bad.. im a bad zihui... cos i've nvr kiss him back before.. and i guess, since i've realised that, he of cos will feel that right? but truthfully, no matter how bad i wan to kiss him back, i just dunno how to go about doing it.. so every single time, i just put it aside.. hahaaaaa... HOW ZIHUI HOW.. WHY R U SO STUPID??

anw, today when i woke up, i immediately went to third aunt's house! heheee^^
HAPPY GIRL^^
and i guess im such a lazy pig! cos susu stayed so damn far! and i stay so damn near! GUESS WHO REACHED FIRST?! SUSU!!!! AHAHHAHAA!!!
oh well, so i went there, then when there's only susu,small aunt & me in the kitchen, i start to tell small aunt about that day, the encounter of talking rudely to shan, cos she irritates me!!! TSK! then small aunt told me some other stuff, and i guess i havent got over it.. the fear of this thing, that i cried.. idk... i just still feels sad.. over all these stuff.. i really cant take all these stuff... so that makes me  sad cos there's just so many things.. i definitely dont wan to see my papa scolding second aunt.. i dont want to see all these disputes. cos they just makes me sad..)': idk, idk why papa dunno how to think... they dunno how to think.. why i must be the one that think so much): and i kno, all my aunts will always be there for me, they will help to prevent all these things from happening.. and i felt so TOUCHED.. that i also cry... haix... n idk why... but i just feel like they are too gd already.. that i will cry when they talk to me n give me advice.. they had done many things for me definitely... haix....

anw, i guess that's depressing enough, and i should stop talking bout it.. anw, so damn sorry to suyi.. cos i think i scared her when i suddenly start to tear... oh man......hahaa!

ok, i think today i ate freaking many meals!!! OMG!

morning-kaya bread! kaya cooked by small aunt^^ ♥
afternoon-2bowls of curry♥+2piece of bread+half a prata... and i tell u, the curry is damn nice!
night-1bowl of curry♥+3bread, 1bowl of rice+fish+fishball+fish cake+loads of vege
 *vomits* cos i eat too much

ok look, i already eat too much curry in the afternoon!!! and when i woke up, i feel like eating curry again! so i ate curry!!! then i realised my mum cooked dinner in the morning-.- so i got no choice but to eat again!! oh my freaking goodness!!! eat so much!

anw, LAYLIN
GLAD that promos is over for u!!! hopefully u will get the study mood for ur chi A's!
anw, ur MRT incident is really damn freaking omg!! and yea.. bear with those inconsiderate pple!! cos u kno, they are just like that! maybe their way of friendly is by KNOCKING INTO U? hehe! omg! JK! hahaaa!!! JUST SMILE!!! HAHAHAHHA!!!
AND THE HELPING INCIDENT is like.. hmmm.. nvm, so long as u r doing gd deed, who cares whether they appreciate or not? just be happy cos u kno, u r doing SOMETHING GOOD^^ HEHE!!!
and i guess that guy in ur class must be an idiot, but dont worry, u r not a bitch ok!!!
SMILES!!!!!

and hihi PEIPEI
idk if u will be reading this, but hehe.. thks((: JIAYOU for ur school ok!!!! lets get a GPA4 this new sem^^
and definitely, i will text u my timetable when i gets it^^ and we shall meetup during this sem ^^ haha!! JIAYOU!!! SMILES^^ HOPE EVERYTHING IS GREAT AT UR SIDE YEA?((:

with LOVES♥
updates soon^^