tired..

IDK WHAT HAPPENED TO ME):

but im saying here that the weird mood is here to visit me..

u know, the mood whereby i just wanna shut myself from this world?

i wonder who understands how i feel...

its the kind of feeling whereby i'm kinda upset about stuff, then idk what to do, then i starts to think n think n gets so tired of thinking....

then i starts to feel numb about everything..

then it feels as if that shutting myself down from everything will be the best solution..

so what the hell is this feeling? ok... omg... its terrible feel..

i want to talk to jinson dear.. but then it seems like i don't have the freedom to live in my own space..

it feels as if everything is just so stupid.. i wish my parents would go and slp.. so that i can talk to him..
but they are awake.. and every time i talk in the phone, they will nag n nag n say phone have radiation.. n when i use the phone in the living room, i can hardly answer him anything cos it seems that everyone is listening to what im talking about. i wish i dont have to hide anything. i wish i have the freedom to do whatever i want. why do u want to restrict me?! idiot!

ok im sry that i use idiot.. but yea. just to let it out. its really idiotic u kno?
i suddenly rmb how i gets so frustrated with every single nags from mom. u know how irritating is that? i always wonder why i would be feeling so irritated. now i've figured out.. the way she nag at me about stuff is as if how anyone will nag at a pri sch kid. please luh. how old am i? idiot man... every tiny little things u kno! idiot. sry. but idiot.! n its like ok.. its so irritating luh seriously. i haven't come out with why is it like that.. someday i guess i will know the answer..

im so tired of living this life... its like idk? i'm tired.. i really am.. but i know i should forget about thinking of all these.. i should just push it behind me and then live my life like there is nothing hurting.. that its all prefect.. i must be happy not cos everything is perfect.. it's cos i must decide to overlook the imperfections that exist.. how i wish.. i would really really be alright.. but i know deep down that all these problem really exist. just i decided to push it pass me.. but every time it comes back, i've got no choice but feel that i hope i can shut myself down from this world of cruelty. i know out there there are many others life that are much worse than any of this.. and all these things are just so stupid to feel unhappy about.. maybe i should start appreciating and stop complaining about life yea?

u know, i feel like crying so much.. but then i will just think cry for what? then i start to feel numb, and dun feel about anything at all... then i feel like not caring to reply anyone.. but dear jinson is at the back of my mind.. if i dun reply him.. i think i really have problem already yea? ok...

bye sad post..