Been a year

Well, I sat here by myself on a wednesday night thinking what should I blog about since Im free. Thought it'll be interesting to take a look back at my blog one year ago. And yupp I went & look. I had ridiculously blogged 3post 1year ago. Its so sad reading how I actually felt a year back. 

I once read something about how every singgle cell in your body will be replaced with new one every 7/8years. So every new day we should be striving for a better self, to feel better, greater. So something that hurt us will not be remembered or hurt as much anymore after 7/8years. 

A year ago , I held on to the hope of a relationship that has no light in the dark anymore. Realised that I could write poem with a heart that hurt so much & felt so much. Today, I see things differently & feels differently. Reading the letters, no doubt I understood & felt emotional for the things and people one year ago. Today, I no longer want to hold onto that bad part of my memory anymore. It still make me feel a little squashed up when I read that letter I wrote 1 year ago. For that was me. Was what I felt. Was what I went through. Was how I managed to pick myself up in that silly way. 

Been wanting to throw those letters away just like how I've deleted my email to him & the photos we had together long time ago. Truth is I've nvr thrown the letters because I wrote them, & felt that things written should be left inside my memory. Now I've decided that it shouldnt be kept anymore. 1 year had past, people had changed, moved on. Neither am I gonna stay that zihui that loves him anymore. I felt silly reading my letters wrote, & cant believe that feelings could really be dampen after time. & Im glad that time really healed me little by little. 

Last year's 28Jan, it was back to school after Internship. And I remembered struggling to walk to school & tearing otw to school. Remember how I swallowed that huge lump stuck in my throat because I felt like crying. Now, Im glad that was over. Glad how I didnt felt the things I once felt while writing that letter anymore. 

Love,

Z