Relationship

Trust. Confidence. Assurance.

Why is it that I always dream of weird stuff. And it will bother me.

Why is it that I always need some sort of assurance and understanding of the way pple feel to make me trust fully?

Why does it seem that im given so much more love than I can ever feel but I still have issue with confidence and trust in my partner or relationship?

Did that statement of my excolleague really really reflects on the scars of life?

I remember how she ask me if I will ever fully trust a guy in a future relationship. And I answer that isnt a full 100% trust necessary for a healthy and strong relationship? I remember how she shakes a head and say that because of what happened to me in the past, I will never ever be able to trust a man 100%.

Its a statement that made me fear about love. About whether I can find true love again. Whether I could love another perosn the same way or even more than how it used to be in the past.

I never did ask anyone or discuss about the different feelings you put in different relationships. Hence, I will never understand the difference of love in different relationship.

Its hard to understand myself sometimes. The reaction I have, or the thoughts that are going through my mind.

Am I some idiotic insecure woman?

Damn does my future feel uncertain if I really am feeling like that. Because then I will be doubting about alot of stuff & needing so much assurance from my partner.

What good does it do to me?

Trust is like the most basic of relationship.

Would that love I feel really outweigh all the fears that might creep into my head and body once in a blue moon?

Sigh. I wish I wasnt an overthinker. But I really am one.