Realize that in that dream of mine when in face of a flirtatious partner and when I got jealous and lose my trust in love, I stood there ready to walk away.
Its as if I felt like I've got nothing to lose anymore. That feeling of ready to walk away heartlessly without looking back. In that dream, I realized that I still couldnt get it over. How someone else have left me over another person. How love could fade away leaving me with just hurt and pain. Im still afraid of it happening again.
I wanted and decided to just go with the flow and just love, but that fear still linger around. Its not just that past relationship that made me fear. What happened to my bio parents makes me fear too. Fear that love would not last. Fear that marriage can come to an end. Its all like taking a leap of faith, yet half way through the jump, you have that flashbacks of the negative things in love and relationship. And if something else arises from external, its all gonna go down in a drain. Just like that.
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