A story of Zihui

Hi there. 

I wanna say how thankful I am to haveall the friends that I've got. Especially those that makes the effort to meet me now and then. I can't say how thankful I am really. Even for those friends that I rarely meet.

Here's the story of myself.

On the way back from work today, I suddenly thought of all these that makes me swallow back my tears.

You know, zihui is a talkative girl. She can go on talking non stop. Well, I have this bad habit of getting too excited when I talk. I also have this bad habit of sometimes getting too excited that I don't pause when I talk. 

During all these while in langkawi, Navin mention that I have to control my way of talking to other people. Imagine i was serving guest and I got too excited to tell them things that I dont give them chance to talk. Bad habit. I am someone that can go on talking non stop. During all these while when I hang out with navin, sometimes he will go like 'shhhhhh' because its terrible that I talk n talk. Haha. Its not funny. I came to this point that I realised that not everyone can take the talkative zihui...

It makes me think about the friends I have. And I realise how fortunate I am to have friends that could tolerate my character and the way I am. 

This is why I'm really grateful for my family and relatives and the friends who could tolerate me(: you people allowed me to be myself(: never wanting to change who I really am. At this thought, I'm so touched that I feel like crying already. I don't think Jinson will be able to tolerate this talkative me. Maybe he can and maybe he cant. I guess time will tell. 

I will definitely let go of the people who cant let zihui be zihui. Because I know it is important to be myself and not change for others. Maybe being too talkative is my flaws. Maybe not. But it all lies in the hands of others. How they want to see me.

Im frighten to stop talking. There's this point of my life which I basically wont interact with people. Its the point when I'm in primary 3-6.... My class consist of only 7girls out of 40people. I have no friends from my P1&2. And I'm in a new environment. This friend I made, told me once that she doesnt want to be my friend because I was too talkative.. From then on, I stayed away from her and became a very very very quiet girl. Although in the end she is still my close friend in primary sch, the part of me being a very quiet girl didnt change at all.

I have friends telling me in secondary school that when I was in Primary sch, I ignored them when they talk to me or say hi to me. This is how quiet I am back then. 

It was until secondary school that I started becoming myself. I talk n talk and I didn't cared much about being myself. I became a very positive person in secondary school, my surrounding friends accepted me for who I am(i guess?) ..... I don't remembering myself being refrain from being who I am. Im thankful for the bunch of friends I made in secondary school really. 

I hope I wont drop into that dark hole of my life. I wish I wont. 

<3 zihui