so i wasn't in the best of my mood cos i'm caught up in loads of weird thinking in my head yesterday..
so to reply to what i felt for what's been delivered to me from dear,
i would say there is 3 things to say..
1) is to ask back the same qn of 'so if things where diff between u and that girl last time, which means both of u actually talk to each other in real life before and stuff, would things had turned out differently today'? hehee this is something i would ask. cos rmb, i told you, dear, about the OBS guy that we sort of have crush on each other, and u asked me what if he showed that he love me when we went out that day? its like asking you back what if you and that girl actually had talked to each other in real life and stuff. would things be diff?
i do understand that this qn is weird cos it just cant be imagined. and i believed that certain things happened in certain way for certain reasons.. if things were diff in the past for each of us, i guess there might nvr be a you & me today. i guess the things in the past happened in a certain way because it just have to happen in that way. and i wont think much bout the past events that happened, and wont be bothered by it cos afterall, the past is the past...
2) is that on the day when u told me all the things at one go, i had no idea how to react (as stated in the last post) ... cos im just absorbing all the things. honestly, i have this weird feeling in me when you tell me bout it. but right there when u tell me, idk how to describe how i feels...
yesterday(wednesday) when i woke up, i start to think why initially i have no reaction towards all that u've said.. i start to ask myself if i really dun have anything in my mind to ask you? did i really dun care what you said that its actually a nothing that happened in the past? i started to question myself OTW to sch.. i guess i have loads of time to think through while i sat on my bus journey.. and i think it dawned on me that i actually dont feel good about the things that you've said.
then i started to think why am i like that? then i realise why im feeling so weird. cos i felt like i'm being cheated. like you said you don't have gf before. i do understand what u mean. cos that is literally like a nothing. its like so insignificant that it need not be considered as a relationship. so insignificant that it doesn't even mean any single thing to you at all. its seems to be something that is like a NOTHING.
but its inevitable that i will feel abit cheated. cos im STUBBORN. to me, even if it's one hour of 'stating each other as gf or bf' , one day,etc, it's a relationship i would think anyone had. so when you told me about it, the weird feeling just existed there. maybe because last time, when im chatting with friend bout BGR, she told me when she had her first bf, and it's like a nothing, cos its stupid and its like only existed for a few hours...(but she did count that as a relationship that happened). so for the STUBBORN me, i would think THAT as a relationship. hehee. but i know that it is a nothing to you. that its like a stupid thing. and i know that. i guess it doesnt matter to me whether that is a relationship or not. cos all i know now is that we truly love each other n its all that matters to me..
so to sum it up, that PAST of yours, i wont be thinking about it or feel bothered by it. all i can say is that im glad you gathered ur courage and told me about it. thanks for thinking so much and going extra miles in everything for me♥.
3) this is something that i've always been wondering since the start. but i nvr did went into the correct time to ask about it.
it's the wondering of we said we love each other alot and stuff, we think about our future together, we work hard for it... and everything. but what if one day, some person stepped into ur life and you realised that you love someone else more than you love me? hahaa. i wonder what will you do. but this, i have the answer cos i asked you already^^ hehee^^
okay, end of zihui the curious me.
hello. so today is a nice day, its 10 november 2011.
one month ago, its the very day where everything that seems to be WOW comes true..
i guess this is enough to describe ♥♥
ok, so today, is a pretty nice day(: every single day, i will look forward to see dear cos i kno that i've missed him more than anything that i can use to describe.
anw, today OB lecture is damn FUN. thks to the lecturer!
then CALCULUS is so boring that i doze off.......
and the rest of the day is pretty much able to describe using WOW..
at home, i ate duck+chicken wing RICE!
then i start to do excel.
then i realised that this wkend there's many things to do):
and today tmr sat sun is a very tight day...
but i guess i gtg sleep now and will wake up early to do research tmr.
i hope all my lovely friend is fine and happy and having fun studying^^
and i hope dear's headache will go away.
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