lovely friends, u kno, on my bday, eugene actually texted me again, other stuff i'll update u all again. u knoo, all of u r so true, that he'll contact me again. now,i cant text him n everything seeems alright tat kind. i rmb those days where i used to talk to him alot, text him alot. what turns all this down is tat his love for me is like too much. idk, u all, some had interacted with him, says he's a flirt. i use to have diff opinion, cos i seriously dun judge all tat. i just looks at the character. he is tat caring gd friend, tat nice guy tat cares, but now, everything just changed. cos he changed. he smokes now, he used to say that he would nvr ever smoke. just look at it now. he smoke. he changed. but he still claims tat he loves me. i guess, idk, everything is just so hypocrite after all that had happen. n i dun wan to hurt him to cause him to become something unimaginable. but i guess, deep down, i dont think i will ever trust him like before again. he broke that trust, somehow, im the cause of it. but it cant be changed. i wonder why he doesnt sees it. he still hope that there'll be something more than friend between us, but i think that'll nvr happen. i told him to not like me, cos it'll hurt him. i kno i ask pple bout it, and they say i shouldnt say such stuff. but ,i must say them i think, cos it just makes sense to me.
im sry, im just naive, and i just have my own thinking. maybe i nvr think deep enough when i say or do certain things... hahs. what to do?? hmmmm.
anw, this post was typed yesterday night. hahahhas! and no batt so i didnt continue.
anw, last night, i didnt do much research. hope that luck will be on my side and that i'll be able to find something bout the hainanese curry rice.. pray for me please!!! yesterday, jinson aka ginseng, didnt pass his lifesaving thingy. he said that he is sad, or rather depress. somehow, idkk what does he really feels, but i thought it must be very dispointing and sad. somehow, sadness is contagious too right?? so i felt sad for him. hahahahahs. i wonder if emotions are contagious. like how laughter is contagious. does that meant that sadness can be contagious too???
anw, i was texting him, hoping he'll cheer up. hahahhas!!! cos i seriously cant imagine him being sad. he's just idk a big sized guy sad??? an imagineable. hahahahs!!! he really dun look 17 luh his size! oh n i told him he should call someone that'll make him smileorlaugh so that he'll cheer up cos he was like really sad. and then, i was on the phone with him?? how is it possible that i can make pple smile? but anw, maybe its cos of my blurness or way of talking that make pple smile or laugh@ me huh?? hahahahas! and im glad i was able to cheer him up, glad to hear him laugh^^ hahahahahs!
when you make someone happy, u might be happy too(: i think seeing pple ard me happy makes me happy too.^^
anw, nothing much happened in sch today i guess. in POM, the mr boh is like idk???? he dun really teach. haix. shouldnt start this blaming thing all over again. lets just embrace them. during APEL today, we are to draw things that represents certain things. somehow,there this blank to draw things that pple dunno bout me. well, idk who dunno what, but i kno that not much pple kno that i have a step mom(: but i didnt write or draw anything there. somehow i guess it just doesnt have to be shared cos they'll look at me and say omg sry. idk why pple does that but they just does.hahahas. like how there was once i took cab to school, i was talking to the taxi uncle, and talked bout many stuff. somehow, idk why but i can talk comfortably to some stranger, bout things bout myself. hahahahahahas.
ok, i should go do my freaking researches. its not fun. but i must see it as a fun thing in order to love them^^ ok i must embrace!!!!
takecares friend^^ <3
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